Hello,

I am writing this remembering how lonely it can get sometimes, and I'm kind of sick of just being sexual with people rolling the dice on whether something will come of it. I made friends on here, and I even was in my first (ex) relationship. Regardless, it gets difficult when you're spending your summer in your room 90% of the time, and I don't like the people in my irl life. So, I'm hoping for someone I can spend like pretty much all day, everyday (within reason) just voice calling with. I like to be watched, so I was thinking I'd be ok with you watching my screen.

The type of stuff I like to talk about is porn and hentai, kink and pervy stuff in general, video games but I haven't played in a year, emotional intimate stuff like our insecurities and whatnot when we get there, trading life advice like I'm trying to eat healthier and lose more weight, fun philosophy not the scary existential stuff, a lil politics but tbh I'm a griller, finance, and I think I flirt a lot and am silly a lot. I like to sing and write and listen to music a lil. I'm also trying to get into watching movies, tv shows, and anime because I need something to talk to women about that isn't hentai lol. I like very messed up horror because it reminds me of the messed up hentai I like. Anything with a good story or whatever is fine though because I haven't seen much growing up so my standards are very low. I grew up watching youtube.

As for me, I'm taking a break from college, but I'm going back. It's for mental stuff. I want to start a business but idk what degree I want. My goal in life is to retire early. Idk what else to say. I'm kinda nihilistic as of recently, not in the boring nothing matters kinda way, but I am atheist and amoral (because I'm edgy like that 💀). I think something that's interesting about me is I'm selfish and kind most of the time.

It's a reddit post, so obviously I gotta divulge at least something about my mental health to ruin the mood. Or idk maybe your jaw is already agape whatever. I might lean on you when I have depressed thoughts or like what I think is an autistic mental breakdown. I have very violent thoughts towards everybody, so it can be jarring. But I don't have a history of violence, and I never will. I don't lash out neither. I just kinda vent and talk about my gorey thoughts in detail, but I can just keep it to myself if it bothers you.

Also, you should probably know a few more things. I lose trust easily. If you're saying stuff about men, it's a very sensitive spot for me. And then for teasing, it's not fair but it seems like I was able to pinpoint that teasing from people would sometimes cause me to feel the depression, overwhelming-ness, anger, and a mental breakdown. However, I like to tease sometimes. So, I can dish it out, but I can't take it so be careful about saying anything about my body or way of communicating things because if you tease me for that I'll start getting a headache and spiral into an autistic mental breakdown. If you mess up, I might need reassurance or to take a step back or our relationship will probably be permanently damaged if it's really bad.

Ok, it's kinky around here, so I gotta say something. I like sadomasochism and ageplay (both sides for each of those) for cathartic reasons. As for sexual stuff, I have an extremely wide and constantly fluctuating array of sexual interests, like deadpool lol. I also forgot to mention that I'm learning Dutch on Duolingo, and I thought it'd be really funny just to leave it here in the kink paragraph.

Anyways, um... this post might be a lil buzzkill-y because I wrote this on a whim realizing how lonely I felt again, so I hope we can be friends. And yes a platonic thing is ok with me, I'd just prefer to not have to stifle my blue sense of humor or pervy interests as topics of conversation. I promise I'll be more fun to talk to lol.

Anyways anyways, lmk your asl and feel free to hmu 😎