I am writing this ad in spite of my better judgement, fully acknowledging that a not insignificant majority will respond to my ad without reading it or indeed skipping to my kink list or its equivalent. I don't believe in The Ratio and neither should you, so don't start your message with "I know you probably got a lot of messages already" because it's not true, lacks empathy and doesn't account for the amount of junk I'll sift through.

I'm primarily interested in a long-term orgasm denial dynamic, without chastity. I'm not a Task Domme so you can't earn an orgasm through a set tasks you get right. You can ask for permission, as a mere request. I find this works best if you fetishize emotional or psychological masochism because not many people (kinky or not) enjoy giving away their sexual pleasure or freedom in that way. Denial is the most erotic thing you can offer from a distance.

I'm a well-travelled, trilingual, STEM-educated black woman with an inevitable interest in sociology, particularly the insights from digital sociology about things we're drawn into and the concept of an attention economy. I listen to podcasts on long commutes to avoid falling asleep and I believe antibacterial gels are superior. All that to say, how cool would it be to mostly have vanilla chats while knowing I'm the reason you're denying yourself pleasure? It's the only way you'll appreciate the way my brain works.

I find that online dynamics require an interest in each other's brains and way of texting but given I'm not looking for a penpal, expect to share audio messages and audio/video calls within a reasonable timeframe. Physical attraction is also important, I'm willing to exchange photos within 72 hours if it feels right to us both. Using the Online tag because I'm presently limited by geography. Not looking for a relationship or LDR.

Tangentially: many people treat 'femdom' like a dirty word so they prefix it: sensual, gentle, 2x gentle, etc. If you're afraid of using femdom without all the prefixes, we won't be on the same page. Likewise if your attraction to dominant women is something you're insecure about. If you choose to reach out, write something thoughtful, interesting, and of reasonable length so I can respond to you faster. It's great if your message can match the length of my ad but this will delay my response.

Don't expect me to be the only person keeping the conversation going, submissive ≠ passive. Don't expect a response by the minute and get mad when I don't cater to your attachment style. Please exercise common sense to decide if we're the right fit, including what constitutes an appropriate age gap.