Who I Am

I'm a human being, first and foremost. I have my own thoughts and feelings, and like to think about really dumb stuff way too hard sometimes. Femdom media doesn't represent me at all, so it's a good idea to approach this profile with few misconceptions. I tend to subvert stereotypes by just being myself. I have hard limits that include more stereotypical femdom kinks like chastity, cuckolding, sissification, bondage, degradation, forced fem/bi, and foot worship while having very few limits otherwise. This can all be off-putting for potential partners, so I'm putting it near the top for easier reading.

I hate wearing heels, love bright colors, sing random songs while doing tasks, and don't own a single piece of leather clothing or a corset. You'll never have to pay just to talk to me, and I have no wish lists. I'm just your atypical suburban lifestyle dominant who can enjoy kinks and activities independent of a dynamic, such as rimming and blowjobs :)

I prefer to freely discuss problems and find solutions. Although I'm naturally a loud and exuberant person, I don't yell. If I'm frustrated, I choose to resolve big conflicts and minor annoyances by taking a nap and coming back to the problem later. Since you're the person I'm spending my life with, we should work together to reduce potential strife.

An avid indoors enthusiast, I read hundreds of gay romances a year. I love colorful and weird things, puzzles of all kinds, innovative ideas, making my own torture implements, board and computer games, and crafting. I got a rainbow pegasus kite for Christmas, and I'm so excited to fly it! I enjoy watching British sitcoms and dramas, falling asleep to old cartoons on the couch, and fiddling with tech. I'm learning hydroponics so I can grow corn and bananas and veggies in my living room, just to say I did it. I got my bike updated (and my spine fixed) so I can ride it soon, and I love road trips. The journey is more important to me than the destination. I can be the life of the party if I have to be, but it's tiring. I am hopeless in the kitchen.

And now for something unusual! I have a deep passion for learning, but based on the way most people have attempted to discuss three specific subjects with me, I find them excruciatingly dull:

Philosophy, military history, and math.

Discussing them at length (or having to read associated books) and/or with a high degree of pretension feels like a classroom assignment; I zone out quickly. The American educational system ruined any enjoyment I might have gained through repetitive tedium and banal questions. I chose to begin challenging and educating myself independently of the classroom as early as elementary school to avoid having the fun completely sucked out of learning, but it was unavoidable in regards to these three subjects.

Other Specs

• Single. Only one person has held my interest long enough to last past a first date (our relationship lasted 5 years), and I've never been married.
• Mostly monogamous. I'm open to a closed mFm triad, but only with the right guys. This is primarily from a practical perspective as it's been challenging finding what I need in one person. But finding two is more than twice as difficult, so here we are.
• Straight, cis, and on the asexual spectrum (demisexual and aegosexual). Basically, I think about sex from a distant, third-person perspective when I'm not in a relationship. I don't insert myself into fantasies when I think about sex. I have zero desire to engage in anything sexual with you until and unless we form an extremely close emotional attachment. This means that if you are expecting sex or sex-adjacent activities before a committed relationship, then I am not the right person for you.
• Average-looking fat black woman. I'm almost 6ft tall, with shoulder-length hair, and I do strength and cardio training 2-3 times per week. I like to eat healthy foods and practice good self-care.
• Industrial designer. I develop usable, useful, beautiful, and delightful products for retail.

My Dating Style

My dating style is in-person undates - hanging out as friends who want to pursue a relationship with each other. No dressing up, no pressure. Just having fun, going on quests, and learning a bit about each other in the process. I am uninterested in long-distance or online only. Although my timeline is comparatively glacial, we will meet in person. Until we do, you should plan to communicate often. My love languages are tied between receiving thoughtful gifts and acts of service. I like the little things - a weird rock that you found that makes you think of me, a handmade card, remembering my favorite strap-on, or chores done just right.

Who I'm Looking For

I'm looking for a nice suburban sub or slave interested in a deep connection with a lifestyle dominant woman. You're ideally a masochist, but that's not at all required. You should have ambition and goals, and enjoy healthy competition. You are thoughtful, communicative, analytical, honest, stable, clever, selfless, patient, confident, anticipatory, gentle, intense, equally weird, into similar dark kinks, and kind. I find competence and intelligence very attractive, so nerds should definitely reply. You should be open to being loved and valued for who you are (and emotionally available to do so in return), open to forming a deeply intimate and lasting bond...and also open to being lovingly tortured from time to time. You also value the closeness that emotional intimacy with a partner brings over more superficial connections, and are actively seeking your "person".

I highly value continuous improvement for us both and plan to incorporate it into our dynamic. We're a team; transparency and communication are crucial. We'll work together to encourage ourselves to be our best selves possible, and we absolutely must enjoy being in each other's company for extended periods of time. It can be as simple as doing tasks in the same room. It's totally normal and okay to need our own spaces - as long as we're not using it as a way to avoid problems. You should be unafraid to voice your opinion or offer feedback.

Aesthetically, I have an extremely narrow window of primary sexual attraction. The closer you are to a stereotypically androgynous, femboy, or "skinny nerd" look, the more attraction I experience. Thanks to being demi, I can sometimes develop secondary sexual attraction to other types, but the further from this aesthetic we go, the more difficult or impossible it becomes. It also takes more time than most want to devote, which is understandable.

Although I like where I live, I am willing to relocate for the right person and location.

Must-Haves

• Single, ideally never married
• No kids
• Age 27 to 45; if you are younger than 27 or older than 45, DO NOT CONTACT ME.
• White
• Male or AMAB sub or slave
• Androgynous, femboy, or "skinny nerd" look
• Straight, bi, or pan
• Disease free (I get cold sores occasionally, so if you do too, that's okay)
• Drug and alcohol free, currently and permanently
• Dog/cat free (extremely allergic)
• Considers good mental, emotional, and physical health a priority

Who I'm Not Looking For

• People who use honorifics like goddess, mistress, ma'am, etc. when messaging total strangers
• Anyone who actively seeks a partner who will cause them permanent physical or emotional harm
• Anyone who has refused the COVID-19 vaccine or boosters for political or religious reasons
• Anyone who has a problem with my continued mask-wearing (friend is high-risk)
• Anyone seeking casual, permanently long-distance, or online-only relationships
• Cuckolds, sissies, or brats
• Chastity, bondage, or foot fetishists
• Chubby chasers or feeders
• Misogynists, misandrists, or believers in any form of supremacy
• People who refer to themselves in third person (it, this sub, this slave, etc)
• Anyone unwilling or unable to give or receive penetrative sex
• Homophobes, political conservatives, or religious people

Contact Instructions

• List all of the must-haves above, one by one; do not leave any out
• Next to each item, write "yes" and/or elaborate on how you meet them, e.g. "Straight, bi, or pan - yes, straight"
• Write at least 5 sentences about yourself as a person, not only your kinks; the more you write, the more likely I am to reply
• Do not call me by honorifics such as goddess, mistress, ma'am, etc.; use my username to address me
• Chat notifications are glitchy on my end, so send DMs - or you'll be ignored until the next time I remember to check the chat...6 months or so from now, and also prove you didn't actually read this

Must-haves are not optional.

If you felt this ad was one big tl;dr, we're definitely not a match :)