i apologize in advance as this will be a waste of time for many people. but i do suspect the right person might find it here. i think femdom fits better than bdsm. upfront, i'm just not sure i'm that great of a sub. i don't think i'm interested in any withholding, denial, degredation, punishment, ageplay or edgeplay. i have no interest in recreating any trauma. we all suffer the abuse of life, and i don't really understand why people seek that sort of treatment out.

so why should i even post here? well i saw this couple yesterday and thought it was so wonderful: link. it's because of things like being a househusband. i really don't care if i'm not the breadwinner. if you bring home the bread, i'll take care of the hearth. i'll wear a frilly apron with bells on it if it makes you laugh. don't get me wrong, i'd happy to win the bread too. frankly, i would do anything and everything so long as your soothing voice and headpats were at the end of it all. but networking and careering is just not one of my strengths and i would love to compliment each other so that we have a strong household to weather storms in together. don't get me wrong, i have spent many years single and living on my own, so i am used to keeping my head above water, even if i'm just treading.

i'm afraid of people looking for a kink dispenser, and i'm not looking to live a fetish lifestyle. but i know how i am, and i know what i want. i'm looking for the same dedication, patience, and understanding that i can provide. i don't need someone to run my life for me. i need someone who appreciates that i run my life next to theirs.

the transient nature of life has been difficult. people come and go. i remember seeing a drawing of lines that were to represent the way people's lives intersect. just thing about that pile of lines still makes me cry. life is hard, and the kinds of armor we must put on to survive is twisted and grotesque. all i have ever wanted is to make the space and memories that anchor me to another person. to take off my armor and lay down my sword for her. to give myself over completely to her. to question nothing of her.

here's some dull info about me:i really enjoy home diy and repair. tinkering on electronics and programming. lots of music both constantly listening and playing. not really into tv or movies, i prefer indie podcasts, sometimes anime (see referential title) and video games, like no man's sky or elder scrolls or stardew valley. i like getting outdoors for beaches, and backpacking. never married (wish i were), no kids (never will), grass and fungus friendly (but don't touch anything else, alcohol is a drug). 5'10, 175lbs.

in summary, i'm pretty shy and sensitive, i'll be your golden retriever, but i swear i'm really not that submissive. reach out even if it's just to tell me why i'll be alone forever.