Introduction:

Hello to each and every one of you. Thank you for taking the time to read over this post. Bonus points to anyone who reads this in its entirety, as this is likely going to be a long post. The most important thing I'd like to say before I get into this, is that I am not in a hurry. I am looking for a quality time, not a quick time. Offering yourself to someone so completely and openly is a gift that should not be taken lightly, and accepting the submission of another in order to guide them, and help them explore / learn is the returning gift from the Dominant. This should not be taken lightly. When I enter into a dynamic, I commit fully. Warts and all. I expect the same in return.

My goal out of writing this, is ultimately to find someone who is seeking a Female Led Relationship. How far down this path I want to go depends on your needs, but I would be willing to go down the route of TPE, but I'll get more into that later. Preference will be given to people who would either be willing to work with me so we can relocate to build a real life dynamic if this is an online relationship, or those who live nearby.

A lot of this advert will be written freestyle, so you can get a sense of who am I am, and how I think. However I will add a keynote with the important pieces of information at the end. Like I said, this post is going to be long, and intentionally so to weed out the types of Domme's I'd rather not engage with.

About me

I don't plan on sharing my name on this post, or too quickly with anyone I meet. That being said, I am 41 years old, and live in the North East of England. I will be more than happy to share this with anyone I feel a connection with, and I would ask that you return the favour. I live alone, with no pets (unfortunate because I love animals, however the terms of my tenancy states no pets. Boo). As for my living location, the property itself isn't the greatest, but its relatively cheap, and gives me good access to local amenities, so it suits my needs for the moment.

From a professional standpoint, I work from home, and as of the time of this post, I work office hours mostly (Usually anywhere from 8am to 6pm), however come October / November, those hours could change upto 8pm depending on the Business needs. Should this happen I will be sure to communicate that to my future Domme. I won't be going into detail about the type of work I do since this is a publicly available communication, but again once trust is established I will share some details, though even then there will be some things I can not say due to Non Disclosure Agreements. I do have a couple of other outside commitments, but thats more of a private conversation.

As for how I look, Im about 5'7, clean shaven head, blue eyes, slightly on the cuddly side though I have lost a lot of weight recently. I am more than happy to share a verification picture (picture that includes my face, clothed body and a piece of paper that confirms the date and my username. In the interest of trust and safety, I would at the very least like you to return the favour on this one. After that I won't ask for any, though I would certainly appreciate anything you do share with me.

I love being sociable. Initially, I can be quite reserved in person while I learn more about someone, but once I have found that connection, whether its a mutual hobby, interest etc I can get quite talkative. The closer I feel to someone, the broader range of things I'll talk about. I value different opinions and perspectives. Everyone sees the world differently, and it gives me an opportunity to learn and grow hearing them. This might not change my opinion on something, but it gives me a different frame of reference to work with, so don't be discouraged in terms of talking to me if there are things we do not agree on.

Some values I hold close to myself, and I consider essential in a prospective Partner, let alone anyone I would consider submitting to:

- Honesty: I am honest, and its a running joke at work that Im honest to a fault. I aim to be fully transparent, and I appreciate people who are willing to be transparent with me also.

- Honour: I can be quite difficult at times. I always strive to do the right thing, even if its not the smart thing to do.

- Compassion: The world is a shitty place for the most part. I try to support people as best I can. I'm not expecting you to donate to charity or anything (though kudos if you do). Just occasionally some kind words to make someone smile is enough. I am a Mental Health First Aider (do not get this confused with therapist or councellor as I am neither). I am part of a few mental health support communities and like to help support people who are going through difficult times where I can.

- Courage: Im not expecting you to be Rambo or anything, because I certainly am not. I respect people who are brave enough to do things to protect others. My viewpoint on this is that if I were to enter into an FLR/TPE relationship with someone, there may be times that you would be required to make some difficult decisions, and I need to be confident that you will always have my best interests in mind when making these.

The Vanilla Me

Most of what I wrote above could slot quite nicely here too, but I digress. The vanilla me is quite complex, and it will be difficult to give you a really strong sense of who I am without talking directly to me. However I will do my best.

I have a variety of hobbies, and this list won't be exhaustive, so you may learn things about me not included in this section as we get to know one another. I play guitar, badly.. I am quite out of practice after not picking it up for over 10 years. It is something I am working on again, and hope to get good again, though I know I'm not likely to get as good as I was when I was 18. I do like a good old netflix binge on occasion, and have recently started watching season 8 of Brooklyn Nine Nine. I do enjoy reading, but depending on my frame of mind at the time I can sometimes find it hard to retain focus on this. The same can be said about creative writing. I don't do it frequently, but I do sometimes dabble. I do enjoy some sports, for example I do enjoy a game of Pool/Snooker, and I used to play Badminton regularly. I wouldn't mind getting back into it, but I kind of need an activity partner in that regard to keep me motivated enough to attend the local club. I also enjoy going out to socialise. I love meeting new people, new experiences etc. One of my local challenges so far, is that every time I decide to go on a night out in my city, I aim to visit a venue that I have never been to before. This has certainly led to some interesting times.

The Not So Vanilla Me

Okay, This section might be a bit lighter, as I generally feel this is something better suited to a more personal conversation. Though I will provide a general overview in terms of my experience and interest.

I've been involved with the D/s scene for about 13 years now. Most of this has been online, though there have been a few periods where this was in person. The wonderful lady who introduced me into the lifestyle was definitely one of the most enjoyable periods of my life, though sadly our personal circumstances made maintaining a relationship difficult. We are still very close friends however, though that relationship is more like a Brother/Sister one these days.

Generally, most of my experiences around the scene have been positive, though Im sure like most people have had their fair share of unpleasant ones. This is why Im putting so much effort into finding the "Right Person", rather than just anyone. One thing I did learn recently while going through a period of reflection, is that a lot of the more traumatic moments in my life have influenced the kinks Im more interested in. Perhaps this is a coping mechanism? Something for me to think about another day though.

It would be somewhat helpful if I provided a general overview of my likes/limits to give you an idea of what I am into. These lists aren't exclusive, so anything not on these lists, so if I do submit to someone, there may still be some negotiating needing completing before some activities are attempted.

As for pictures and videos. I am more than happy to verify who I am, and at the very minimum I would expect you being happy to reciprocate that.

- Likes:

Tease and Denial, Ass play, Anal, Some pain, CFNM, Online public, Flogging, Bondage, electro play, Clothes pegs, Candle Wax, Sounding, Chastity, Exposure games, Blackmail (for the right person, and I would insist on being in a real life relationship with this person before starting to discuss this)

-Limits:

Feminisation, Sissification (I'd look ridiculous!) Extreme pain, blood, scat, water sports, Forced Bi. Financial, though things like bugetary control I'd consider. Giving you money for the sakes of giving you money isn't going to happen. If I offer you a gift, monetary or otherwise would be after we've been in a relationship for a while, and soley at my discretion (This is the hard limits. Anything not on this list is probably negotiable, though this isn't an exhaustive list as I learn about different kinks)

What do I bring to the table

I've decided to include this section, despite not being a fan of the question. I generally feel that this question should answer itself organically through the flow of conversation when getting to know someone. Though since I've added it, I will at some point be asking anyone who makes contact what they will be bringing to the table. Some of this may sound cliche, or corny or vanilla, but thats the point.

I bring a range of experience and skills, some entwined with kink and the D/s dynamic, and plenty of life skills. As much as I yearn to let someone take the reigns, my life for the most part has taught me one thing. You can only rely on yourself. I do still cling to the hope that there is someone out there who would take control of the responsibilities in my life and then guide me on the path on how to be the best possible version of me. But I digress, I've learned a lot of useful skills over the years.

Like most people, I can cook, clean, balance a cheque book, budget finances, manage a household. But the most important things I bring to the table are the following:

Borderline unwaivering loyalty. I do not end relationships easily. Unless there are signs of abuse, I will always endeavor to resolve issues and build the relationship. This is important to say, because its all too common for people to end a relationship and find someone else out of convenience. Such is the internet era. I am a firm believer that relationships require blood, sweat and tears (Not literally, but entertain the idea for a moment). The strongest relationships I've seen are from those who have been through rough times together, and who have put the effort in to working through those issues.)

Emotional support: I get pleasure from others satisfaction. I'll always listen to your troubles, and I will not provide judgement on anything you say. Everyone has their emotional baggage, and if I can lift some of that weight off of your shoulders, then I will be more than happy to do so.

An open mind. I know everyone has their own kinks. There are things I've listed in my limits. But as you should have noticed, I also said anything not on that list would be open to negotiation. This does not mean I'll try quite literally everything. Even as a submissive, I do have a responsibilty and duty of care for our own safety. It does mean however, that I would be prepared and willing to engage in something I dont particularly enjoy if it would give you enjoyment.

Obedience: Im generally very obedient and follow instruction to the best of my ability. There might be instances where Im not fully successful in a task, but you can be assured that I will give it my best shot.

My time: I am looking for something committed, and as such I will be investing a lot of time and energy into building and maintaining any relationship I enter.

Friendship: I want to be able to see you as a person too. I want to be able to support you and not be a kink dispenser when its convenient. I want to be able to laugh with you, cry with you.

About you / Requirements

Ultimately, I will be making myself very vulnerable for anyone I choose to submit to, so I need to be confident in your ability to protect and guide me. For this reason, I've included the following:

- Champion of SSC/RACK/PRICK philosophy.

- Strong communication skills, both verbally and written.

- Availability: I would expect contact daily unless otherwise agreed.

- Honesty / Transparency. I need you to be upfront with me about everything. I don't mind the cute "surprise" kind of thing, but I do not enjoy being kept in the dark or not able to provide my input on something. Especially if it involves me.

-Fluence in English. I know a lot of people speak English as a second/third language. That being said, being able to communicate clearly and effectively are important to ensure there are no misunderstanding which could lead to harm being done.

- Be a real person. First and foremost, the "R" in FLR is Relationship. I want to be able to see you as a person with goals and ambitions. I do not want a dynamic solely based around "Yes Miss, No Miss, Three bags full Miss". There will be times I need to speak to you as a human, and vice versa. If your idea of an FLR is to start or end every sentence with "Slave" etc, then we won't get on.

- Be willing to verify: Ultimately, you're going to be asking me to place absolute trust in you. For me to do this, I need you to be willing to re-assure me that you can be trusted to this extent.

- Be willing to talk over voice / video. As the relationship progresses, I would like regular contact over voice chat. Im not asking you to give me your phone number (Perhaps if the relationship meets a real life stage then sure), though something like Skype or Telegram would be sufficient. Im not too concerned about video chat, and Im honestly will not be asking to see you nude. Its just nice to be able to see and hear people sometimes. I do have some fun and cute ideas for someone Im in an FLR with before reaching real life.

Flexible around

Experience: It would be beneficial to have experience, however I am more than willing to work with someone who isnt as experienced, and willing to let them explore their desires using me.

Contacting me

Please contact me via reddit chat in the first intance. Once we've spoken for a bit, I'll happily move over to a messenger service thats more convenient. This is for safety purposes.

When messaging me tell me a bit about yourself. Basic things that I dont think I really need to mention, but I'm going to list them anyway to give you some help.

How old are you?

Your gender? (Hard having to add this, but my last advert attracted more male subs despite being a femdom group..)

Your location - Doesn't need to be precise, but should give me some inclination as to time zone differences, or if you're more local to me.

What about my advert caught your attention? What was it that inspired you to make contact? What would like to know more about regarding me?

What would you bring to the table in an FLR?

Tell me about yourself: How do others see you as a person, what are your defining qualities as a person? What kind of interests do you have?

Are there any kinks you'd expect me to engage in with you (that are not listed on my likes list).

Selection Process

I hope I've made it quite clear I am looking for a quality relationship, and not looking to serve just anyone, but I'll break this down to help you know what you should expect after messaging me.

- Reddit chat: This is a light conversation to get a feel for you.

- Private chat: This will be on a different messenger service, for example Skype or Telegram so we can chat further, as well as start communicating over voice.

- Consideration period: After we've been chatting for a few days and we have had the chance to get to know one another better. Either you, or I can announce that we'd like to enter into a dynamic. If the other person feels the same way, then we will continue to talk and develop the relationship for at least 5 days before confirming that we would like to engage in something

- Negotiation: We will discuss at length our expectations, and our desires.

- Formalities: Ordinarily I would not be too interested in this, but given recent events I would like to work with you to draw up a contract of sorts to document responsibilities and expectations

Closing

If you've made it this far, not fallen asleep yet, and still interested then I would love to hear from you. If you're unsure if we'd be a good fit, but would like to talk to get to know me better, please still get in touch. We may not going anywhere, but if it creates an opportunity to make friends and bounce ideas off from time to time, then I would be happy with that also.