Intended as a light-hearted post. Please do not take me too seriously.

I’m a pretty regular guy with a couple of not-all-that-peculiar kinks that will hopefully make the right woman extremely happy.

OK, yes it seems every guy on Reddit thinks he's an oral master and says he's all about your pleasure. So, what makes me different? Other than an extensive history of spending hours at a time making my partners happy, the best I have to offer is what those partners have told me. Maybe they’ll ring true enough that it might pique your interest (of course, YMMV):

• “I knew I was multi-orgasmic, but not THIS multi-orgasmic” (after 3 hours of oral and countless orgasms)
• “I get wet as soon as I get on the Bay Bridge” (coming to see me)
• “Holy shit! You can just turn it on like that?” (after she told me to make her cum rather than edging her)
• “Now what are you doing?” (said right before the one below)
• “I can’t breathe! I think I blacked out there for a few seconds”
• “I’ve been walking around wet all day thinking about your mouth on me”
• “If women knew you were this good you’d have a line outside your door”
• “It’s too bad you’re submissive, I would let you do anything you wanted after that” (contrasted with the one below)
• “You like being in control of me like that, don’t you” (referring to my oral efforts as I teased her, edged her, and finally let her cum)

The above comments are what I live for. All I want is to use my tongue and fingers to bring you to ecstasy for one, two, or three hours at a time, and then have you tell me I'm a good boy as my reward. It’s important to note that while I often get good reviews after my first encounter with someone, it’s getting to know you and what you like that really brings out the best in my technique.

For my next kink, let’s imagine you just want to lie back and let this guy make you cum until you've had enough. After he’s exhausted you, it's totally fine if you just want to cuddle, leaving him hard and aching to cum. He loves it when you make it all about you.

Or, depending on your mood and personality, you can make it worse by teasing him just to see how turned on you can get him — then laugh at his reaction when you stop before he gets that incredible release he thought he was about to get.

You can even tell him give himself a really quick orgasm if that makes you happy, and he’ll even ruin it for himself if you ask him too. He loves it when you get hours of pleasure and only gets a minute or two.

OK yes, my other kink is orgasm control. But not chastity. No cages can hold this guy. But it's incredibly hot when you decide if I can cum, and if so, how good it is (or isn't).

Other than being a talented pleaser who wants to get far less pleasure than you do, I’m Ben and Jerry’s Vanilla ice cream (vanilla, but premium vanilla). But I’m very kink-friendly and open minded.

OK, so I’m a sex god (who kneels in front of you instead of the other way around), what about all that time when my head isn’t between your legs? Sure: I have my shit pretty much together. I have a job, a place, a car, and big screen TV. I like beaches and mountains, dogs and cats, Macs and PCs. I’m pretty easygoing, but I’m almost always up for an adventure (I’ll jump out of airplanes to skydive, or into the ocean to SCUBA dive)

I try to stay in good shape and stay active and I value that in my partner. I believe in compersion, compassion, communication, and kindness (cindness?). Respect and support are also very important.

What’s the catch, you’re asking? Just your soul. No, wait, that’s a different post. The catch is that I’m poly and I'm 5’8” (155 pounds).

Hit me up if you’re local (in the Bay Area, please) and not a pro (no judgment, I’m just not looking for that). Let's get to making your orgasmic dreams a reality and thereby making us both very happy.