I am a pretty open person as far as sharing what I like and being to the point about what I want, but this app makes me question that sometimes.

I have been on this app for a month or so, and some of the people I’ve talked to have been great, but others have acted in ways I wouldn’t have expected. For reference I am a bisexual cis woman.

The most irritating to me have been men who I match with and their first message is aggressively sexual. One I got recently was “I’d love to fuck the shit out of you.” Another one was “I’m in town for two days, let me know if you want some dick this weekend.” Like no hello, nothing. Does that actually work for you, men? Is that actually the way you get results or is it meant to disturb me? I get that a lot of people are looking for casual or fwb situations — I am too! But that doesn’t mean I want to be treated like I’m not a person.

Second are people who start the conversation with asking about your kinks. Is it so weird to want a basic conversation like “hey, how are you, what do you do for work, how’s your time on the app going” before asking if I like creampies? I’m totally fine with talking about kinks but why in the first message? I matched with someone recently who asked what my kinks are in the first message, and I responded saying I’d like to get to know you a little before talking about that and they immediately disconnected. I mean, ok, I guess we’re not compatible anyway, but it seems like a rash approach.

So — am I the weird one? Is it normal on this app for people to jump straight to this kind of talk or are these more of an anomaly? I’m seriously starting to question myself. For what it’s worth, all the women I’ve connected with on the app haven’t been like this, but most of them were looking for a unicorn which I’m not looking to be atm.