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*These are just personal experiences. You are free to share your own, below.
I've been on the app for about a month with my partner, mostly using free swipes, and woof, it hasn't been great.
Like most internet dating sites, the app is completely flush with straight, vanilla dudes who aren't interested in any significant kinky behavior, or the dynamics of poly dating. They mostly want very surface level, mediocre sex, from what we've experienced.
For the male half, this means a lot less matches and a profile that ends up buried from sight. For the female half, a lot more nonsense and vetting to make sure that she is meeting someone of substance and not just a horny dude.
Conversations for both drag on, with once daily, one sentence responses and really poor communication that makes it hard to get past the ice breaker phase.
We've been out of the game for a while. Is this just what internet dating in general is like?
All said, the app is still an interesting opportunity to meet like minded people and I'll probably try the paid service before I completely knock it.
My favorite is women (cause that's who I'm generally looking for, not because it's inherent to women) who talk about substantive conversation in their profile, but like you experienced, give one word or one sentence responses with no follow-up questions. to keep the conversation going. it's just a lot of ? ! ? ! ? ! and it's exhausting. Another great one is that I matched with this woman and she messaged me first which in and of itself is a shocker, but I was busy all weekend and when I finally went to reply she disconnected from me before I had even had a chance to write an initial reply. And I mean look, people change their minds and you don't know what's going on in their lives, but just trying to get to a first meeting with anyone has been insanely difficult.
Yeah I’m super busy and go public and two days later an like ok I’m at capacity and private bc otherwise I became the jerk who is either replying with two words and folks get mad or not messaging people back. If you don’t have the time to date or make conversation get off a dating app!
Yes!! “Why did you swipe on me?” because you wrote a full coherent sentence 🤷🏻♀️
This is common. I’ve had some great experiences (also single F so very different experience,) but yeah it’s 80% conversations that fizzle out in a day and 90% vanilla and not poly horny dudes who are hoping for an easy lay on my end of things.
I’ve been on/off for over a year and I’d still prefer it to explaining to even more vanilla men what a spreader bar is or answering the “are you dating anyone else?” question on a first date.
My most common first message I received is something along the lines of “when can I eat that ass?” & my profile is PG.
Not really, I think it’s just finding that small percent who as into you and into you having a partner, your kinks etc. Personally I like flirting over vanilla throughout the conversations because otherwise it feels like friendship. I have no advice other than great pics, a profile that says actual information about you, what you like and what you are looking for and just being honest, open & engaged in chat.
Also as with most apps single females are inundated with likes and matches and less active on apps. This isn’t a brag either, but in 24 hours I can have 200 likes. I rarely swipe and pay for majestic so I just go to that 100 list and like back of don’t.
My favorite is women (cause that's who I'm generally looking for, not because it's inherent to women) who talk about substantive conversation in their profile, but like you experienced, give one word or one sentence responses with no follow-up questions. to keep the conversation going. it's just a lot of ? ! ? ! ? ! and it's exhausting. Another great one is that I matched with this woman and she messaged me first which in and of itself is a shocker, but I was busy all weekend and when I finally went to reply she disconnected from me before I had even had a chance to write an initial reply. And I mean look, people change their minds and you don't know what's going on in their lives, but just trying to get to a first meeting with anyone has been insanely difficult.
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That’s up there with “I never check my messages,” ok well then I won’t bother.