I grew up flying all the time, my fear started when in college when I would have to fly across the US from LA to CTL. I knew if I didn’t get on those flights it would mean no family for Thanksgiving/Christmas/Summer, so I would turn the airplane into a floating bar, at which point my fear/panic/anxiety was basically numbed.

One time while trying to get home from LA for Christmas, I had a layover in Flagstaff and while boarding the second plane, I ran out of the plane and straight out of the airport. I was then stuck in AZ for 2 days by myself trying to figure out how to at least get to college in LA. I spent those holidays alone in an empty frat house completely depressed and upset at myself.

Fast forward to today, I don’t drink especially when I travel because 1. I need to work when I land 2) I am now prescribed medication 3) I realized how irresponsible flying while intoxicated is (this is not a judgement on anyone who has a few to calm the nerves, whatever works for you. This is just how I would get). I have been working ever since college to get to the position I am in. My family is reunited, we all live within 20 min from each other outside of Chicago. I worked for 10 years to finally get the job I have now, but there is one problem….. Flying is a MUST! I have been working here coming up on a year and have been doing fine with flying.

Until last month leaving CLT to go to ORD (home) we started taxiing back and I had one thought in my head… GET ME OUT!!!! I felt trapped, stuck, hot, dizzy, sick my heart was beating out of my chest and i knew it would be about 2 hrs till those doors opened again no matter what I did. It was my worst nightmare come true. Now I have to go back to CLT or lose my job, and right now I don’t know which is worse.

My fear is the feeling of being trapped inside a plane, having a panic attack and not being able to leave to do so in private or go outside for air, my heart SINKS when I hear “the cabin doors are now closed” because I know I’m stuck at that point.

Should I be looking to get a new job? Can this irrational fear be beaten by forced repetition? What do you do if you have an anxiety attack on the plane? Am I truly as stuck as I think I am?

Any amount of help is appreciated, I hope we can all get past this fear!