So I fly frequently for work, I am not afraid of turbulence or any mechanics and things of that nature. I am claustrophobic, and my anxiety kicks in when I hear “the cabin doors are now closed” or the way I hear it “you’re not going anywhere now.” My usual preflight planning starts with arriving early, take half a colazepam (or a whole .05mg) before security, and the other half at the gate.

Today, I was in meetings till the last min., running to the airport and finally getting there in time to eat something fast ( I haven’t eaten all day) and board. I was sweating from the run to the gate and I had eaten fast, I was dripping sweat. Then, we get the doors closed and I’m trying everything I can to focus on anything else but nothing is working. I am doing everything in my power to not delay everyone and asked to be returned to the gate and end up a Tic Tok. The AC isn’t working during or time in the tarmac and I am now stuck in my worst nightmare. I start taking my colazepam fast to try and get my body to settle down, but nothing was working, I couldn’t get comfortable and I couldn’t relax, my anxiety was peaked. What usually works for me is telling myself “If I’m not feeling better in 15 min, I’ll talk to the stewardess” usual I am calmed after 15 and I’m good to go. Unfortunately with all these factors, I was a mess.

We finally get in the air and I try and relax but still I am not doing great. So I did something I was always very scared to do. I went back and spoke with a group of stewardess.

I didn’t want panic anyone, so I just told them my stomach was a bit upset and would it be okay if I occupied the bathroom for a bit. These stewardess were AMAZING. They got me a drink of water, and ice pack for my head and gave me all the time I needed to gather myself in the bathroom. When I came back out after 5 min. They had ginger ale and crackers waiting for me. After speaking with them for a bit, I was able to sit back in my seat and get through the rest of the flight.

If anyone takes away anything from this story it should be, do not ever hesitate to walk back and speak with a stewardess, they can and will help. I wish I could find this group and send them gift baskets or something. Sure it was a bad flight for me, but I will be back because I believe this is something that gets better the more you do it.