Following my exit from the .MIL, I learned to embrace my man-cuuurves through a perfect storm of a speed eating habit I semi-retained from basic, a sedentary job, and a deep love of cheeseburgers (with super-size accoutrements). I quickly shot up to 240, which surely was my set point and quite massive on an otherwise small-ish frame. I tried many variations on strict low-carb dieting, while shoveling 3000 calories of steak, eggs and cheese into my mouth. I always understood the calories in / calories out, and tried that a couple times too, but only ever dieted for a week at a time.

My wife wanted to start a weightless challenge, so I reluctantly agreed. I really didn't care about it, and didn't do much for the first week or two until I found /r/fatlogic. You bastards all triggered me to hell and back, but a good regimen of /r/fatlogic and /r/fatpeoplestories gets my jimmies so rustled before bed, that I am a super-shitlord level 2 (SSL2) when I wake up in the morning and pound out some cardio and a breakfast sized for normal people.

Now, I'm about to win $350 in the challenge. Thanks for destroying my excuses every day, shitlers.