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Feedback request on first chapter of a story I'm writing
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I started writing a new story recently and thought I'd ask what others thought of it, since feedback/criticism usually help keep me focused on a single story rather than spewing out a dozen literary doodles in a week and finishing none of them. Any feedback, critical or encouraging or both, is welcome!

Here's a link to it on Google Drive. 5280 words long. Dialogue can really make a chapter length explode...

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10 years ago