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Looking for critique on my rewrite ~2k words
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Hello again. Last week I believe it was, I posted a chapter for critique and the big thing I got back was that nothing really happened at the beginning. Well here I am with hopefully a bit more active first chapter. It was a complete rewrite and I didn't keep anything from the original draft apart from the MC and one of the side characters. I ran it through ProWritingAid's software so hopefully the grammar is a bit less of an issue. I know there's tons of sticky sentences in there(it's something i'm trying to get better at avoiding).

Any feedback is appreciated, and as always feel free to rip it apart.

Link: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1AGLv5Dp_2-orkBukaTUKPIIxENw_GmejwKSJLnFRE4E/edit?usp=sharing

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Born of Darkness

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1 year ago