Astral Projections: Week 1 QB Tarot Reads

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Oh hi r/fantasyfootball.

Power rankings, statistical models, and machine learning projections are a dime a dozen these days. I'm here to bring you the real deal prediction method: single card Tarot readings!

Notes:

I currently use Golden Thread Tarot to save time and better record each read. Some reads in the future might be done with a physical deck.
Each player has a single tarot card drawn to inform the question "How will [player name] perform in Week 1 of the NFL season?"
Each card cell links to a description in Labyrinthos. They are the same descriptions/card illustrations as those in the Golden Thread app and help explain my comments on the card visuals.
I'm not experienced in Tarot readings at all.

Alright, let's get to the draws!

Player Name	Card	Keywords	Hot-take
Aaron Rodgers	King of Wands - Reversed	Impulsive, overbearing, unachievable expectations	Rodgers might perform well this week, but could easily be overvalued and might be rushed on passes. Perhaps Mack is going to make a big impact week 1 for the Bears?
Russell Wilson	Page of Cups	Delightful surprise, inner child, intuition	Should be in a for a good week, a fish in a cup has to be good for a Seattle team that wants to feast! Perhaps a rushing touchdown from Wilson.
Tom Brady	The Tower	Sudden upheaval, pride, disaster	The Tower sure looks like Tom Brady’s castle. An all seeing eye that lights up the night and towers over all else. Something is wrong here with ole Tom, but he’s tough and can rebuild himself after the fall. A start, but not a confident performance.
Cam Newton	V of Pentacles - Reversed	Recovery, isolation	This card implies a "light at the end of the tunnel." This week might still be hard for the Panthers, but Cam is on the road to success. Perhaps isolation implies a rushing TD?
Deshaun Watson	The Fool - Reversed	Recklessness, being taken advantage of, inconsideration	"In your excitement to start a new journey, you have not heeded the dangers that surround you." Not a good sign for a player coming back from injury. Beware Watson starters!
Drew Brees	Judgement	Reflection, reckoning, inner voice	Look at those hands rising out of the grave to catch his passes! The Saints are rallying behind Brees and and he has a newfound vitality to perform. Must start this week.
Kirk Cousins	King of Wands	Big picture, leader, overcoming challenges	Sounds like Cousins is going to light things on fire, dude is dual wielding torches named Diggs and Thielen. He’s ready to realize the vision in Minnesota, top tier week coming.
Matthew Stafford	The Hierophant	Tradition, conformity, morality and ethics	Pray for Stafford this week. Lions will do what the Lions do, score points through Stafford’s arm. Expect him to have an average performance!
Andrew Luck	King of Wands	Big Picture, leader, overcoming challenges	Same card as Cousins! Luck will look like his pre-injury self this week and hype everyone up. He’s going to be true leader out there, confident start.
Ben Roethlisberger	King of Swords	Intellectual, power, truth	Big Ben will be ballin out this week in Cleveland. Expect him to have a great game against a terrible defense.
Philip Rivers	V of Wands - Reversed	Avoiding conflict, respecting differences	Rivers shouldn’t be seen as an overwhelming force this week. It’s possible that he over relies on his safety blanket of Antonio Gates and the RBs for short passes rather than airing things out. He’s playing hesitantly week 1.
Andy Dalton	VIII of Pentacles	Education, apprenticeship, achievement	Dalton must have been putting in work this offseason to try and take the Bengals further. With a good match-up this week maybe Andy can make it work and be a solid option.
Jared Goff	III of Wands	Looking ahead, expansion, rapid growth	The Rams vision might be coming to fruition. It’s still going to be a hard game for Goff, but he is ready to take it on and should perform as best as he can.
Marcus Mariota	X of Wands	Accomplishment, responsibility, burden	Mariota has been working to be the backbone of this team, but that identity might be too much. The card itself makes me think that we’ll see quite a few passes this week, but Mariota might be forcing it and trying to do too much.
Matt Ryan	The Tower	Sudden upheaval, pride, disaster	Not a great week for Matty Ice. I think this card says more about Jones's performance this week as Ryan latches on to other targets.
Alex Smith	King of Cups - Reversed	Manipulation, moodiness, trickery	While solid last year, this situation is going to be different and he can't cope with it. Smith could throw this game due to being a bit unhappy with the current situation. However, this is a sign he needs to step up and take control. Maybe a bad game will help him in the future.
Dak Prescott	VI of Pentacles	Selfishness, stinginess, debt	Dak is going to be force feeding a single target this week instead of spreading the ball around. Look for this to be a low fantasy scoring game as Dak forces it one direction.
Tyrod Taylor	The Emperor	Authority, structure, control, fatherhood	Tyrod should be playing in control of himself this week. Maybe not a transcendent performance, but he’s going to look good and prove the hard knocks believers right.
Patrick Mahomes	3 of Pentacles	Teamwork, collaboration, building	Sounds like a good week for the team at large. Mahomes, Hunt, and Reek all working together to score (don’t forget about Kelce). “Progress is swift” sounds nice if you’re a Mahomes believer.
Blake Bortles	Justice	Cause & effect, clarity, truth	Karmic retribution for Blake, he will get what he deserves. What is that do you think? I tend to think Bortles deserves more than he has gotten in the past. Perhaps he and Cole can link up well despite relying on the run.
Jimmy Garoppolo	The Devil	Excess, Materialism, playfulness	Spooky!! Jimmy G is the devil flanked by the ghosts of Goodwin and Garcon! Jimmy is getting blamed when the Niners lose this week, but it’s not solely his fault. He needs to break free of expectation and negativity and just play his own game.
Case Keenum	Queen of Cups	Compassion, calm, comfort	“A figure in your life that is nurturing, compassionate, and able to instinctively understand the emotions of others." The Broncos could use QB who understands the team and can bring out the best in their teammates. Case might not top the points charts, but he’s going to make everyone else take a step forward.
Nick Foles	Death	End of a cycle, beginnings, change, metamorphosis	Interesting card for Foles. Death represents end/new through radical change. Foles ended last season spectacularly and is the one starting this year off with Wentz injured. I think this bodes well for him, potentially he'll solidify himself has a more reliable starter.
Mitch Trubisky	The World	Fulfillment, harmony, completion	Mitch should be celebrating that the Bears are bringing in talent. “Absolute unity, perfection, accomplishment that draws from inner and outer sources.” Trubisky is going to have some believers after this week.
Sam Bradford	X of Cups	Happiness, fulfillment, celebration	“Emotional fulfillment and happiness due to a deep sense of unity with the world around you.” I think that’s more like a deep sense of having DJ and Fitzgerald surrounding you. Bradford should do well in feeding his teammates, solid performance incoming.
Ryan Tannehill	III of Pentacles - Reversed	Lack of teamwork, disorganized, group conflict, competition	Stay away from the Dolphins and Tannehill this week. He’s not going to be on the same page as his teammates and might even be favoring certain players to everyone’s detriment. Bad week coming.
Joe Flacco	Strength	Bravery, compassion, focus, inner strength	Flacco has seen a lot and knows how to play. He might not be an elite QB, but he’s competent and should be well-balanced this week. Not a lot of points, but he isn’t going to hold his team back at all.
Ryan Fitzpatrick	Page of Pentacles - Reversed	Daydreaming, impracticality, laziness	“With this card reversed, your enthusiasm in starting your new venture has perhaps tapered off.” Well, stay away from Fitz this week. I’m not expecting anything great out of TB with Fitz phoning it in.
Derek Carr	The Hanged Man - Reversed	Stalling, needless sacrifice, fear of sacrifice	Very interesting draw for Carr. He needs to sacrifice something or already has (perhaps it wasn’t him, but the team with Mack?) and the results aren’t what he thought they’d be. This might be a terrible game for Carr, but it could lead to future progress.
Sam Darnold	Strength	Bravery, compassion, focus, inner strength	Strength is what we want to see out of Darnold in game 1. If you have him rostered, be excited to see what he shows against the Lions. Sam is going to look a lot more comfortable than some might be expecting.
Eli Manning	The Wheel of Fortune	Change, cycles, inevitable fate	"What comes up must come down." Eli isn’t in control this week, the Jags D is. He’s not a smart play even if he ends up performing well.
Nathan Peterman	Knight of Cups - Reversed	Moodiness, disappointment	Peterman won’t be starting long if this draw is to be believed. He could come out and lose his head in the second half.

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