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Predict a bold headline from Week 1.
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I will go with one: "There is a new TE king!" Sam LaPorta greatly outproduces Travis Kelce in the Thursday game with two TDs and over 100 yards while Kelce shows clear signs of aging and posts a mediocre statline. Caption picture is Kelce on ground holding his limp d*** while LaPorta stands over him with hands in victory.
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Flash Gordon goes for 200 yards and 4 TDs in the second half. Suspended Monday morning and stashed on all of our benches just in case
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