My sister (34) and I (27) grew up in a toxic household with our terrible mother. She moved out young. Had two kids. Lost custody. Went on to have three more kids with two other men. Didn’t graduate. Now is a bartender. She is dirt poor.

I left my mom’s house to go live with my dad at 16. He got me a car, put me thru college, now I’m making over 50$ an hr floating at a hospital as an RN. Average wage in our state is 21$/hr. I never got pregnant (I was very careful). I live a good life. Go on vacations, have great friends, like my job. I worked hard for it. My sister barely gets by. Now she is back at our moms house living in a trailer with her, her husband, and my sisters three kids. It’s terrible - my nephews sleep on the floor. I feel bad for her due to how her life is. But she chose that path. She could have done better. Went to school. Got a job.

Last month my sister had to have her car towed. Needed 900$ to get it fixed. One sob story and manipulation tactic later, I forked out the cash. Flash forward to last week. She was going to give me 500$ and pay 100$ a month for four months. Only until she got fired from her job. Now she has ghosted me for the last 6 days. No call back, ignores my messages, is active on Facebook and has talked to her old bar coworkers whom I’m also friends with.

I’m at a loss of words. I have done nothing but help her for the last three or four years. I thought we were close. Maybe this entire time she was using me.

I was paying her 50$ a week to let my dogs out a few months back. 3 times a week for 15-20mins.She asked for an advance for a week. I gave it to her. She never showed up to let them out and ghosted me for almost a month after I was calling her each day she didn’t go over there to do what she was paid for. I should have known better. It sucks losing that money I worked hard for. It sucks more knowing my own sister did this to me after I have never asked her for help and I have always helped her.

I just don’t know why she is like this. Any insight?
After messaging and calling for 6 days straight, I have decided to remove her from all of my socials. She doesn’t deserve to see me living my life. Mostly I am just very hurt. This isn’t about money. It’s about how my own sister has manipulated me and used me.

Last year our brother died in a freak accident. Guess who paid for cremation and urn? Me. Not my POS mother or my older sister. Me. I’m so done. I have given her a lot of grace since he died, they were very close, she’s still really hurting. But no excuse to treat your own sibling this way. I just don’t know what is wrong with her and I feel bad for my nephews. Any advice and insight is welcomed.