So I would say I’m conservative and traditional in my world view. I’m also a veteran, so most attribute my strong views or points to me being “institutionalized”. I’m African American, as well. I give context because when I say conservative, people assume MAGA, but I just gave that info to kill any stereotypes. I don’t go against people’s beliefs, nor do I hate on other ppl who don’t share it. I just want to, I guess be more sensitive and empathetic, but my logic won’t let me. Here’s the scenario:

So I have a female family member who keeps finding herself in precarious situations with relationships. She dated a guy & he cheated, so she left him. Dated another guy who was abusive, she left him. She then started dating girls which she admitted was out of curiosity & horrible experiences with men. She ended up leaving that too. She then met her son’s father, on which he had a slight addiction, which in turn led up to his addiction being full blown. By the time it was, she was already pregnant. She had the choice to do whatever she wanted with the baby, keep it, give it up or an abortion. The man told her that his addiction was to the point where he couldn’t control it & he didn’t want a baby. My family member loved this man & had his baby, hoping it would change things. It didn’t and it actually made it worse. She then went to the child support office to gain financial leverage (her exact terminology), from a man who nowadays probably doesn’t know what day it is. She blames that man for ruining her life & having to do things alone.

I’ve just seen this family member for 4th of July & based on how I live and what I have, most of my younger family members ask for advice and wisdom. While I heard her side of blaming him, I didn’t hear her side of accountability for putting herself in that situation, seeing all the red flags & still proceeding. While I was conveying my points, I simply added that “just like women who have the freedom to do whatever with a baby, so should men, whether that means walking away or being there.” It’s a double sided coin because I mentioned “that if in a perfect world, he wanted to keep the baby and he was 20x better than what he is now, but she didn’t - she’d have the choice to still not have it, without repercussions”. Now maybe it’s my world view or maybe it’s just how I logic things, but it’s caused a stir in my family, with other family members causing for me to apologize, because this person I guess was embarrassed & that wasn’t my intentions. My intentions were not to hurt her, nor did I speak condescending, or rude, or name call, it was just me equating logic to what she said. This family member is 22F & I’m a 35M. Before you base judgement, I stand on what I believe but maybe I could’ve changed my delivery. Can someone help me to understand how this doesn’t make sense? If I look up to the sky, I’ll say it’s blue from what I see. Not turquoise or aqua or blue green. Just blue.