Family has always been my number one priority in life. I (23) have always had such a close relationship with my dad as a child. He was a huge alcoholic who drank pint after pint every few hours a day, but as a kid, I never noticed. My mom on the other hand was addicted to opioids, and wasn't the best of mothers. She would yell at me constantly, ignore me for hours, talk ridiculously bad about me to her friends on the phone. It's to the point where at 23, I do not want to be a mother because I don't know how to be a mother. I don't know how to treat babies, how to do my hair, and had to study about my own body because of the lack of knowledge I grew up with. When I was 16, my dad finally gave up liquor, because he realized he can't remember my childhood and it absolutely broke him to realize it, so hasn't drank anything since. My mom felt like she had to stop drinking also (because she was somewhat of an alcoholic as well), but also stopped taking opioids. As you may know, it doesn't matter. Her doing the opioids have taken away every chance of me ever becoming close with her. Of course, she's been trying to be close with me, but it's weird to say that she talks to me like her friend. Not like her daughter. Like calling my dad out his name, saying that he's nothing. But still thinks I'm agreeing with her and having fun speaking to her.

I now have a little sister, we'll call her Morgan. Age 11. I was annoyed by her when I was younger only because it was noticeable that my mom liked my little sister more than me. When she was 8, she was diagnosed with epilepsy and autism with a slight speech impediment and ever since then, she'd been extremely close with me and I swore I'd do anything in this world to protect her. My dad has always told me that i am my sisters hero and how proud he is that I do certain things for my sister that my mom never did for me. Now my mom has been going absolutely crazy trying to relax my sister's seizures, but it's been getting out of hand. She's been going back and forth to hospitals, demanding more medicine that my dad and I don't think she truly needs. It's getting scary to the point where, my dad does not know what half the medicine my mom is giving her is doing.

My dad works ridiculously a lot, so he tries to go to appointments with my mom to see what's going on, but he told me that every time he asks a question, my mom answers very vaguely. That even doctors give her a look of suspicion that my mom is not right in the head. My dad thinks it's the opioids in her past, but I personally feel like she's getting medicine from the hospitals, because epilepsy medicine apparently to her, makes my sister feel almost high and loopy. She recently watched Grey's Anatomy, and seriously suddenly believes she's a doctor. I'm serious... She thinks she's officially qualified to be an EMT... She's been going to appointments telling doctors exactly what she needs (even though they are the doctors) and it's put my sister in a state where she's sometimes going to the doctors for no reason. She stays night after night because my mom tells them she cannot go yet and to run more tests. My sister FaceTimed me with her face red and tears running down her eyes saying she didn't want to be there, and that nothing hurts anymore. If she was hurting, she would not want to leave the hospital.

Fast forward, my dad has unfortunately fallen into a deep depression, because my mom has been ridiculously mean to him. He just recently had a bad stroke and keeps having symptoms of another one time after time. That's already been making me down lately, but my mom has basically treated him like dogs*** because she knows he is officially too weak to care anymore. He knows now that he won't be able to take care of my sister alone, even though before his stroke, he told me he was divorcing my mom. One side of him did not want to divorce her, because he knew that she was not right in the head anymore and that she was not the same person anymore. I tried to even take my little sister out for her birthday, but my mom insisted she'd stay in the house, but my sister only goes out to the hospital and my grandma's house. She didn't even go to school, but it was because of her last seizure she had in school, where her teacher said she could not be in a normal classroom. They wanted to put her in special ED, but my dad just refused and let her be homeschooled. So she has zero interactions with anyone. That's why I'm all she has at this point.

My dad has given up. He's always been a religious man but he's always very loving and does not judge anybody. I have 4 other half siblings on his side who I also grew up with, and each one of my siblings agreed he's our savior. But he's given up. He doesn't call me as much, but he texts me every 2 weeks to tell me he loves me and that I'm a great big sister. He keeps feeling funny, but will no longer get checked. He's depressed because he feels like he's lost himself as a man because of his stroke, and that my little sister has to now depend on my mom. I'm 23, and I'm dealing with things I wish I could stop, but I feel like my past is getting in the way of it. I feel like I should step up, but I don't know how and my life's just beginning but I feel as if my family is done. These past could of weeks, ive been feeling so heavy with all of this, but I feel like I have to just suck it up and take control of my sister, force my dad to divorce my mom so he can finally rest, and unfortunately. I'm not sure what to do with my mom. Of course I still love her, even though she's undeserving. Even with her trying to make it up to me by chatting with me like I'm her friend... but I still love her. But my dad and my little sister are the main people I'm here for. I don't know what to do from here, but make the hospital do an investigation, but I fear it'll take my sister away from us.