I'm a m(27) and my brother is 19, he'll be 20 this year. I recently went through a breakup involving a house and a child resulting in me moving back in with my mom until I can afford to live on my own. Since then I've gotten some firsthand experience on my brothers life living with my mom. He dropped out of high school after Covid sent everyone into online learning for a year, which I have a strong feeling was a result of him being home so much and being allowed so much freedom to play video games and get high whenever he wanted.

The last 6 months or so, he's been in one of those "go as you can" diploma schools im not too familiar with how it works. It's M-F 12:30pm to 5:30 pm, I get off work at 5 and am home by 5:30 and he's probably there 3 days out of the 5 just in his room gaming, eating Grubhub, eating his thc gummies so I'm assuming he isn't going to his school those days.

He's never had a job, doesn't have a license, doesn't have any irl friends, never had a relationship and I've kinda always been a "they'll seek help if they want it" person and it bothers me a bit that he doesn't seem to have any desire to be independent in any capacity. Mom buys him whatever he wants so why would he? He actually said that to me once.

Am I just supposed to let him find out on his own? I've tried to explain to him before that this lifestyle isn't going to last forever and it's going to be that much harder for him when it's over, like I can't even get him to help like take out the trash or load a dishwasher. I don't want to act like his parent because I feel like that is absurd.

If anyone knows a family meme er or anyone like this, is there anything I can do? I just want to help him grow into a functioning adult, but I feel like he has to WANT to do it too