I have a 11 yo girl and a 9 yo boy and it's the exact opposite. My daughter seems to have inherited my insane ADHD while it seems to have missed my son, who is much more studious like my wife.

My daughter does excellent in the subjects she enjoys, but once she decides a subject is pointless, like math or grammar, it's like dealing with severe ODD.

Otherwise they are both pretty stereotypical of their genders...

I wasn't diagnosed till I was 37. I'm 40 now. The past three years with Adderall, Wellbutrin, and weekly talk therapy has saved my marriage and changed my life for the better in so many ways.

I am the same way with the hyperfocus. I am a top performer when I actually care about something. I spent my whole life being told I was a genius by everyone around me just because I was really damn good at the stuff I hyperfocused on. But its a fucking treadmill... I get bored so easily. By the time I was in my 30s I had burned through so many hobbies and was just in a deep depression.

I encourage you to research your ADHD as much as possible and get medication if that's what you decide you need.

ADHD is nothing more than a dopamine deficiency in the prefrontal cortex. Its a brain more adapted to being a hunter gatherer than whatever it is we can call what we have now.