"Expose yourself to your deepest fear; after that, fear has no power, and the fear of freedom shrinks and vanishes. You are free.” - Jim Morrison

As a muslim I thought of this quote, I was no longer afraid of anything but Allah. In my house I'm taught that the only thing one must fear is Allah. Not soon after I learnt that the only way a religion like Islam, Christianity or Judaism can work is through scaring their believers into believing.

Islam was never freeing, as much as I thought it was, it was like seeing the world through a glass bubble which you cannot leave. As I learnt more and more about Islam, that glass began to crack, the barrier between me and a fruitful life, one without a hindrance such as religion; but one thing still remained and that was my fear of god. Mohammed was a pedo rapist, women are treated like 2nd class citizens and the Qur'an is a 30 chapter fairy tale/Mo's sick diary. I knew the true face of Islam yet I was scared to leave because of the lingering fear of god and that he may put me into hell. It became a truly scary, terrible and suffocating experience. An experience I overcame.

According to the quote I started this rant with I had to expose myself to this fear, face it and then I'd be free. So what I did was I locked myself in my room, it was night so it was pitch black without any lights on, and I lit a candle. I put some headphones on and put 'Riders On the Storm' by The Doors on. Closed my eyes and breathed slowly. I don't know what I was expecting but something happened. I no longer felt this fear that Allah would grab me by his hand and throw me into some hellfire, I let go. All that shit about jinns, angels, mohammed, allah, heaven and hell it was all gone and I felt that this massive, massive fucking weight had been lifted off my shoulders and I was free. The glass had shattered and I gave in to the music. This was the first night I went to bed without praying, although it felt foreign at first, it just felt normal and right.

I don't know if anyone can relate or if this'll help but just thought it'd be something I might share.