I dated my partner for 7 years. When we first met I never knew he was Muslim. Or at least that his family was very seriously religous. He hid me from them and I had very low self-esteem so I didn't question it. I moved for grad school and asked him to come with me. At this point I found out his family was disowning him for his decision.

Things were wonderful at first and it didn't matter. He tried to keep connection with his family. He found out his grandma was dying so he went home to say goodbye and family insisted I come too. I thought, oh wow, acceptance. We went to visit her and she said it was her dying wish we get married. His mom gave him one of her rings because she knew I was white and wanted a ring. I obviously could not accept because it was not anything I was ready for. This was our first blow out fight.

After this he started using soft drugs pretty heavily, cheating on me with prostitutes, and becoming verbally abusive. I stayed for five years, still receiving pressure to marry him. One day I lost it and told his mom what was happening, and this is why I couldn't marry him until things got better. She was disappointed in him but convinced if we just practiced the religion, he would find the right path. He was convinced too. So I started praying daily, reading the Qur'an, and trying to everything halal aside from wearing a hijab. I still did everything wrong in his eyes. I touched his arm while we were reading the Qur'an together. I asked questions about the religion I shouldn't have. The cheating ramped up and the abuse got physical.

Before the night he left bruises all over my body because I wouldn't let him leave the house to go cheat on me, I almost converted. I almost signed the nikkah. But instead I went to the police and they helped me get out. His whole family honestly believes I left because their religion scared me away. One of the last things he told me was that I wouldn't believe how many Muslim girls are out there that want to marry him. That he doesn't have to convert. That all he has to do is say the right thing and he's set for life. And oh yes, there are plenty of white Muslim girls to chose from too. And he has the pick of all of them because his family name means he's from a higher caste system.

I didn't hate the religion until this. Because if that is true, I feel incredibly horrible that another girl won't get to know this person with the same privilege that I did before marrying them and realizing their a psycho. Before having their children.

Reading your stories make me feel a little bit better because I had my doubts and it always made me feel like the terrible, intolerant person his family thought I was. But it makes me feel okay to say, no this isn't for me.