now that things seems to be safe I guess I'll do a rant now...

I have two family members (cousin and aunt) who knows about my belief and are ok with it told me to just keep it hidden and still live obediently with my family so I don't hurt them.

I may be selfish in saying this but what about me. I've been like this for six years. I've helped clean, heal, do chores, support them, be kind to them and be a fucking obedient dog for six years and because now that I serve Mother Earth all that is now nothing? My loyalty and love for them is nothing because now I'm a polytheist?

It makes me mad and sad that I'd have to bend over backwards to make them feel better whilst I just have to keep it in for more years. I want to think for myself, I want to be myself.

Edit: This has been very helpful in releasing steam but I think I should make it clear that I'm a pagan. So to those Muslims lurking here and thinking I should be chained by their god again.

HAIL MOTHER EARTH, BEARER OF LIFE

HAIL FATHER SKY, DEFENDER OF LIFE

HAIL BAST, PROTECTOR OF WOMEN

GODS BE PRAISED I SHALL NEVER BE CHAINED AGAIN

But yeah that's my rant. Thank you for reading and have a good day!