About three months ago i was a good practicing muslim, i always questioned everything as this was in my nature but kept finding things to back my way of thinking up. Eventually though i realised i didn't actually have a leg to stand on and i had simply fitted my so called facts around my beliefs, i however kept on praying and pleaded with allah to guide me as only he can guide and to give me some faith, but i recieved no reply as unfortunately he doesn't exist, also key to me was that spiritual experience is not just unique to muslims or indeed any religion, it can be experienced by anyone. This was mainly facilatated by many discussions with one of my best friends who was an ex-muslim about two years before me. also my older brother is an ex muslim at first i doubted it was for intellectual reasons, but i have come to see he's not as much of an idiot as i once thought. my mum has semi-accepted him in the hope he might one day change. This does give me hope in that she might accept me but in a way it also puts pressure on me, as she's always going on about how im her good son. i want to tell her gently but have no idea how to do this, as my mum can be unstable at times and i do genuinely love her as she has done nothing wrong to me and i dont want to hurt her. anyways basically wondering if other people have had similar discussions with parents and any tips. I need to do this as i cant carry on lying and deceiving, pretending to pray etc, its destroying me slowly