No, I'm not personally talking about biological family, although I'm sure we could probably discuss that as well.

I'm talking the "this group we have here is not just a [insert group name], we're a family" kind of family. O don't know if it's because of the whole children of God thing or if people really think they can form lifelong bonds like that instantly (as most of these form on day 1 of whatever activity), but whatever the reason, it is SO harmful to the people involved in that group. Here's two sides of it, with some personal examples.

The first side is from the ones in the group who are left out of this "family." This was always me. I never went to mutual activities as a 12-13 year old, and rarely did it when a 14-17 year old because of how excluded I felt. I would be ostracized, cast out, and alienated for at least 2 hours a week, and to top it all off I would always hear that this group was like a family. I never felt it, and hearing that always was like salt in the wound. I would feel like I was never good enough for this family, because obviously if I was "better" in some way I would feel really close to everyone else. Or, how in the NYC my district always talked about being one big family, and I still feel like I'm not cared about in any kind of group chat or meetup, and it's been two whole years.

The second side is from the perspective of someone who is inside the circle, especially the leaders of this group. When an unrealistic expectation is put on their shoulders like "maintain this family" or some shit like that, it eventually crumbles the shoulders of the one who it's placed on. They'll see minor fights between members as evidence that they need to try harder to get the "family" together again, and when they can't control that they feel like a failure. Or if, as the leader, they themselves aren't liked a whole lot, they also feel like they are unworthy to be in the spot they are in. Having been the president in each of the youth groups I was in AND being the odd sheep out, sometimes it felt like the only reason I was ever the president in the first place was to make sure I showed up to activities.

I don't really have a point to this all. Just an observation I've been passively making over the years, and it's now surfacing in thought. It's just a concept that plays into the extremes of TSCC, where nothing they do can be just some small, cool thing. It has to be ALL OUT and MIRACULOUS do anyone to pay attention to it.