I've been out of the church for a little over a year now, and I am very happy with my decision. I've found life to be happier and better, and while there are still some things missing in life, I am incredibly glad that tscc is not ruling my life and causing me existential crises at only age 20.

Every so often, I'll have a dream where I'm back on my mission or in the temple, and I feel incredibly uncomfortable because no one else knows that I've left the church and I'm expected to do the same as I did when I was in, and I can't tell anyone because I'm afraid of how they'll react and I'm afraid that I'll be in physical danger (after hearing how the whole temple secrets were bound to a promise to slit your own throat if you revealed them, that only made it worse). Specifics aren't usually important for each dream, but I always wake up and a lot of the anxiety I feel sticks around for an hour or so.

Anyone else have similar dreams or experiences? Just looking for validation.

(I am looking for a therapist to help process trauma that happened because of tscc)