Hi! This is the first time posting since I'm usually a lurker but after ranting and raving to my husband (who's also a member of this sub) I've decided to share this story with all of y'all and see what you think.

Background: I have some anxiety and depression and some serious health issues which have made me face my own mortality since COVID started. All of that plus a mandatory quarantine required by my doctors* have made me extremely agoraphobic during this pandemic. I'm not ok with this newfound agoraphobia since I ALREADY am a neurotic mess and really don't wanna deal with more. The hubs and I also stopped going to church about 4 years and officially made the decision to not be members as of 3 years ago.

*Side note: The mandatory quarantine is mostly because of my health issues, if I were to catch COVID I would be one of those who would have a fatal outcome.

Ok, so onto storytime!

I've been struggling with my anxiety and depression along with agoraphobia for the last 6 months (We've been quarantined since March 2020... lemme tell you it sucks BALLS) and after talking to the doctors about upping my medications and making those changes, I also decided I was going to see a counselor for help as well.

​

On my first session with the counselor (free counseling is offered through a work benefit), he asked me what I wanted to work on and such and I explained the issues along with some other things I wanted to talk about as well and I made it very clear that I'm no longer a member of the church and any suggestions or recommendations that deal with the church or faith, in general, are a major hot topic and I would prefer not to have any LDS preaching moments involved in my therapy. He said he understood and would not be preaching during our sessions and after talking for the rest of the session ended with him giving me some homework to do before our next session (mindful breathing exercises and a list of movies that he felt would be helpful)... Well, I took a look at the list and watched about the first 20 mins of the first one and it turns out that the list of movies he gave me are all those lifetimeesque movies where all the protagonist's problems get resolved with their faith and love of god... I basically said NOPE and refused to watch any more of the movies.

​

Session 2 started with me telling him that the list of movies WERE not helpful since I told him that anything faith-related is a hot topic since I'm still struggling with the deception of the church and my feelings towards a higher being and such. He said ok, but still, every time I brought something I wanted to talk about up, his first instinct was to say "well as a member of the church I feel this.... BUT I don't want to influence you regarding the church" yadda yadda yadda. The final straw was when I brought up an issue about my anxiety** and how some of it stems from an experience I had regarding a sexual assault. He then informed me that I should forgive and forget that experience and that will make everything better and that ALL people should be forgiven (his response was "well you need to forgive him for what he did so your anxiety and depression go away. He attacked you when you were 13. You need to forgive him to feel better"). After having an argument with him about my feelings about NOT all people should be forgiven for their actions, he was still like "well I LOVE talking about forgiveness and helping others forgive people who've wronged them. I do a lot of that as a former bishop..." I basically shut down. At the end of the session, I was given some more "homework" to do. Another list of faith inspirational movies to watch and a few forgiveness articles to read. I told him ok, but didn't do any of the "homework". After ranting and raving, I came up to the conclusion that I needed a different counselor that was 1. a woman, and 2. who was nondenominational.

​

**Oh fun fact about this. He flat out told me the anxiety is in my head and if I've ever considered just NOT being anxious... like DUH. I know it's in my head.. I know it's stupid to be anxious and paranoid about shit and I don't like it, but you think it's just as simple as turning it off. Also, he didn't sound too thrilled that I'm on a bunch of medications to deal with my anxiety and depression and his advice was to just stop taking my meds and try to deal with the anxiety and depression with mindful breathing and prayer.

​

Session 3 started with me telling him that I needed to switch counselors to a woman and a nondenominational person, I could tell he wasn't happy with my choice but he's like ok I can get that started for you. He did ask why I felt like I needed someone who was nondenominational and I explained AGAIN that the faith topic is a hot issue for me. We then got into why I'm no a member and why I have issues with the church and his response was "well if you read the scriptures, talk to other members, and pray about it, you'll find your answers but I understand you don't want to follow the church so just keep those in mind while you're researching it because the church is really transparent and is upfront with everything they do" *SNORT* and he finished the final session by recommending me to read an article from someone he knew that left the church as well.

All was well until I actually took a look at the article. He suggested that I read " When I felt deceived about the church" by Travis Ewell.. WHICH WAS PUBLISHED IN THE FUCKING ENSIGN about a guy who became disillusioned about the church and its doctrine and how he left the church for a while because he felt deceived but thru the POWER OF PRAYER, talking to other members and the scriptures, he came to realize the church was true... SO after ALL his affirmations that he wasn't going to push religion on me, He still pushed religion. I'm no longer seeing him and am waiting for them to reach back out so I can start my counseling again but I feel like the 3 sessions were a complete waste of time.

TLDR: I started counseling for my anxiety and was upfront with the therapist about the church and my issues with it, still proceeded to preach about how all my issues would be solved through faith and the power of God.