I was Mormon for most of my life. Served a mission and met my wife at BYU. Luckily I married her because I like her and we have common interest. We knew each other for 5 years before we got married.

It was a shock when I told her I was out. It is still somewhat recent. If I go to church it’s to spend time with the new kid and the wife. Today was the first time since being out. I didn’t take the sacrament because I didn’t want to give her false hope.

If we would have been the Mormon couple that only got married because of the church I’m sure we’d be talking about divorce.

We are both very respectful of each other’s beliefs and focus on what we both value the most. Our family, marriage, good food, and humor.

I imagine things will get more complicated when it comes my kid grows up and we have to decide how much influence either of is okay with.

There is occasional guilt I feel. It’s hard for me to see her sad to go to church alone every week. We still pray together because I feel it’s important to having a coming together of thoughts. Even if I don’t think it’s go a real god I am okay pray to some “huger being” if it allows me a moment of conscious and audible meditation with the wife.

all at only 10% of your income. *also we will ask for more, not give amount, but will constantly guilt the hell out of you for not giving enough for the poor in the ward. And you can’t eat.

Thanks for your reply. It’s nice to know I’m not alone in how I feel. There is a real guilt knowing what my actions are causing for my spouse. You’re spot on.

I was thinking about it and I how feel with my guilt is I know that it is caused by an empathetic love for her. I understand her pain and the uncomfortable situation I put her in.

Which is different from the guilt the church creates. The root of their guilt is shame. Manufacture shame that only they have the remedy to. Although I put my wife through this I know it’s right to leave the church. I don’t have a feeling. I thought I knew what “knowing” something was when I was in the church. It sure doesn’t compare to the “knowing” I need to get the fuck out. Hopefully that made sense.

I can picture everyone at church applauding the genius of the rhetoric. While in reality that’s fucked up. Why don’t they teach self empowerment and love of self.

I never went to YW (obv), but since being on Reddit it seems that all that was ever taught contingent love, worth, acceptance, and “worthiness”. That all those came by way of a spouse. Also I heard about this chewed gum thing which sounds extremely harmful to a kids psyche and in their own rhetoric go against the atonement pretty blatantly.

“God will forgive you but your husband wants a virgin; and deserves it” is all hear. Fuck that noise.