So I had let my mother convince me to go back into getting mental health treatment, I’ve done it before and it never seemed to work out. But after an attempted suicide due to being told by my mother that I was a disappointment and a heavy financial and emotional burden on the family, I let my guard down and decided to accept professional help. She chose the psychiatrist, said she looked into him, and that he sounded good.

Though after awhile of seeing him, I looked him up myself. A large piece of the description of him talked about how he was a scout, went on a mission in British Columbia, and attended BYU, so I concluded that he was Mormon. The sad part is that both my mother and whole family know the majority of my problems and mental health issues stem from being born and raised Mormon, and yet she willingly chooses this psychiatrist while knowing his background.

The work done there seems to be professional and well applied. But I just don’t feel comfortable sharing these negative thoughts and hateful feelings about the church to a current member. I have had problems with paranoia and trust issues after leaving the church (go figure), and this whole thing has just made it all worse. My mother has made me feel like I can’t trust her to make realistic and logical decisions in the past. Now I feel I can’t trust her at all.

If anyone has any advice on how to take this problem on I’d love to hear. If anyone has any connections with good ways to find someone who specializes in religious trauma in my area I’d be grateful.