So I was swept off my feet by one missionary. She was so awesome and welcoming and the process happened so fast. I liked my church tour so much, gave up coffee and got baptized 3 weeks later. My oldest daughter likes the church activities and asked to be baptized so she did. The church members are all super nice in our ward and welcoming. We do not have a support system in my city so I saw it all with pink glasses.
My husband was supportive but he definitely isn't into church at all. He will never join it and doesn't want to pay tithing. We still did the baby blessing for our kids.

Church became more and more boring every week. The missionary I loved finished her mission and now I realize, what did I get into? I do not have a strong testimony at all. It's getting worst because I keep getting bad news week after week. We had a car accident and our car is totaled. My mom has cancer. I'm so freaking busy and I know they are about to give me a calling. It gives me so much anxiety thinking about it. I started to drink coffee again almost everyday. I feel like I am a let down. I am ashamed because the people I've met are genuinely nice but I can't go on with this, at least not now. This Sunday will be the 3rd Sunday in a row I will miss. I have no wanting to go back for now. They know I'm dealing with a lot of stuff but eventually they will ask me what's up? How do I answer? What do I say? I don't want to offend anyone but my faith is quasi non existent at the moment and reading on this sub make me realized I got roped into this.