I had seen it before but a piece was linked in response to me, and it's extremely good. And one thing stands out

https://www.issendai.com/psychology/estrangement/missing-missing-reasons.html

"Anything tinged with negative emotion, anything that makes them feel bad about themselves, shocks them so deeply that they block it out. They really can't remember anything but screaming. This emotional amnesia shapes their entire lives, pushing them to associate only with people who won't criticize them, training their families to shelter them from blows so thoroughly that the softest protest feels like a fist to the face."

" "emotion creates reality," is truth for a great many people. Not a healthy truth, not a truth that promotes good relationships, but a deep, lived truth nonetheless. It's seductive. It means that whatever you're feeling is just and right, that you're never in the wrong unless you feel you're in the wrong. For people whose self-image is so battered and fragile that they can't bear anything but validation, often it feels like the only way they can face the world."

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Modern civil society is based on secular rules. You have written rules that apply to all people of all backgrounds. Religion is based on a specific set of rules. But those rules only apply if you believe in the matters of faith. Don't believe that Jesus came to earth, you don't follow his laws. Don't believe Muhammed was a prophet, don't follow his laws. Don't believe Joseph Smith talked with an angel, don't follow his laws. But when you honestly and wholly do, you go all in.

And to take on faith is counter-logical. It's belief in something without needing proof. You can seek out proof but the strongest held faiths don't require it.

This explains a deep seated division between so many people.

The quote above is relevant to the term Shelf Breaking. It describes the breaking of one's entire basis of being, emotionally. You go into your mental space and you find the love of your parents, your successes in school, your activities with friends. And you pair this with the statements coming from those in authority that this is all provided because of your faith. Then you destroy it.

You can see how politics and faith goes hand in hand and how emotionally and as a result physically violent people can get when their way of being is disrupted emotionally.

Around civil right so many people fight only when emotionally they can't take the status quo any more. Look at how many people of many faiths have validated extreme racism to the point of violence, of insults, of putting people down. Subtle racism isn't ok, but many people are willing to put up with veiled racism when they won't put up with socially and religiously approved racism.

January 6 was a great example of an emotional block, people fighting from a place of emotion. Many politicians promise to represent a specific faith and so people come from their point where faith sets the foundation of their life and connect that politician with all that is good in their life. I honestly believe some people are repentant they participated in the Jan 6 coup and it took breaking down their entire life emotionally with the threat of jail to reach them. It took the threat of losing everything they worked for, that their faith destroyed their life. A shock to their system.

Mormonism has the same problem. Yes, it's built in lies, a sex cult and racism. But none of that matters until you break someone down emotionally. And it can take extreme pressure.

Look at how many people leave Mormonism because they can't be who they are. Love is one of the few things stronger than hate. Coming out as LGBTQIA and leaving a faith is so common because it's someone saying they can't have the love they feel. It's why the topic of gay members is so common in this sub, because it's so incredibly absurd that they should feel hate instead of love.

Many churches today have women pastors. It's wrong to use generations as homogeneous, but starting with Millenials acceptance that women are lesser is going away And Mormonism can't rectify a religious basis that men rule and women don't with youth that don't think that. The problem is more than a century old, that of plural marriage. It's still pervasive as an idea within the faith and it's toxic today. For so many women it's an emotional jolt that they are viewed as subserviant that breaks one's faith. You can see this in the sub in simply counting how many women vs men get time to speak in a position of authority. The number is completely irrelevant logically, but it shows the emotional importance to so many.

So when you look at the difference between someone who refuses to listen and someone who does, remember you're not talking about a logical stance but an emotional one.

Mormonism has built a pervasive nearly cult environment centered around emotional control. It's not just your faith you're emotionally tied to in church, your entire life is. You risk losing your friends, your family when you leave. Jehovah's Witnesses you see the same story where leaving the faith comes with difficult decisions around family.

In my area Mormonism is not even a topic beyond a historic curiosity because of two things, 1. there aren't enough members to move the needle and 2. the members don't involve themselves in the greater society. But it shows the problem I describe that they're not involved in the greater society. Without the ability to control their entire life, with that ability to have a life outside the faith, the faith is all but irrelevant.

It shows that Mormonism doesn't care about mission work because the members aren't there day to day in everyone's life outside the faith, as a member one can't be allowed to. I've met literally thousands of Mormons in my life and the only time I was ever invited to learn anything is the day I was intrigued what's inside the Liberty Jail building so I got in to see it between tours (seriously). It's a low quality museum piece by the way. How many people on this site have visited the Far West Temple Site or Adam-ondi-Ahman. I have.

What I'm saying is don't mess with members, don't think badly of them. Their entire self-worth, entire basis of is tied up in believing. You may see the bad and aim to reach something better but they see reaching out as bad and don't want to.

It's so incredibly hard to give up what matters most to you. And once you've recreated yourself emotionally it's hard to understand why you ever thought that way.

If you want to help someone, deeply and seriously help them, help them emotionally. The best thing you can do is to live a loving, rewarding life and support them in the same. Counter hatred, catcalling and negativity with positivity.