Woooooh.... So.... Not too long after I woke up, I decided to purge my facebook of witness associates that I had in my friends lists. You know, all the friends that left for new congregations, elderly that had an ccount set up by their grandkids, etc. I did this not because I hated them with every fiber in my body and was two small bladder restroom breaks away from pulling a Mary Contardi in my local kingdom hall...ahem... but because I knew that the person that I was becoming was not going to be accpeted by my former associates. I didn't want to see contant praises to Jehovah trying to affirm their life choices, and I didn't want them to criticize anything I wanted to talk about. I wanted to talk about my love for Final Fantasy and Kingdom Hearts, the couple on the bus making out being hot, connect with old High School friends that I missed out on because of my predicament. In general, just talk about shit and not have to worry about the shock and unwarranted follow-ups about me and my "spirituality." Lord knows I got enough of that when I faded out.

So, I decided to make an instagram account, and they give you sugestions for people to follow. Most of them were from witness associates from various stages of my life. I'm not going to lie to you guys, it made me sadder than a famished vampire trapped in a morgue. I didn't know who any of these people were anymore. It just made me realize how entrenched I was when I was in, and in all that time, I could never truly be apart of them. I really only knew them through the kingdom hall, and when they always suggested stuff to do, it was always stuff like nature walks and meeting at the park. Occasionally a movie would come out we would all want to see, but it was mostly meetups where they were being Christian Mingle after a botched facelift and a labotomy, and bible trivia games and awkward renditions of Kingdom Hall songs. There was only one group of friends that I had where we felt normal and cool. We would all get together and play music like Brintey Spears, Chris Brown (pre-assault), Ciara, Green-Day.

I click the couple of suggestions I can actually use and go on about my business. This morning, I wake up to a follow that I did not expect. This was a woman that I considered a second mom and had moved to the other side of the country some years ago. She was always on the cusp in the religion, but I never got the impression that she was "fully indoctrinated," you know someone that was considered "spiritually weak" (Now thinking about it, I always gravitated towards "spiritually weak" bretheren). But she was always so warm and loving. I do know for a fact that she is still a baptised witness though. The first thing I did was try to figure out how to make sure she did not see any posts I would be making in the future. I still don't have a definitve answer for how to do that. I am tech saavy and work in IT, but Instagram's language is sort of vague on if followers can see your posts. All of this just makes me realize that I have a lot of work to do. I am friends with folks from my job, and am well-liked. I work at a college, and due to my arrested development, I relate the most to the student workers for multiple reasons. I look young for my age, so i literally look like a classmate, but I have to constantly remind myself about boundaries and not to get too close because I know I am not one of them, and I am technically their superior. Plus, it's not like I can message them up and see what kind of plans they got going on and meet up, that's just Ghostface creepy. My Co-Workers are cool, but they have spouses and kids, so it's not like I can meetup at a bar with them, especially during covid. At the end of the day, i'm a Gemini in all the best ways, so i'm adaptable. I'll find my way, but just wanted to share that with you all. What have been you're experiences with social media after waking up?