It's simple as that. During a normal meeting, I went to the men's bathroom and witnessed two elders kissing each other. For 5 seconds, they looked at me shamefullly, and I looked at them, all parties silent. They didn't even care about making up some excuse.

In 5 seconds, I had to make a decision. Those where the longest 5 seconds of my life. I decided to leave and pretend I've never seen anything. If the information leaks, they'll know it was me. These are the things that passed through my head:

1. I have no proof, only my testimony. They have power. I can't afford to be sued, and I judge that this wouldn't be my biggest issue, because my life is on the line. There's no way I could legally win this, and from what I understand, I'd probably be sued by two people for defamation, injury and moral damage. I don't think they've commited any crimes.
2. I have reasons to harm the reputation of one of them, as me and others had some problems with him in the past because he is too proud, as well as a narcissist. From here, my word has no credit.
3. If I tried to tell other elders, I'd instantly be an threat. From here, they could secretly harm my life.
4. They are both married to their spouses. Once the information leaked, I'm sure both marriages would end shortly after. More reason to take revenge on me.
5. If I succeeded at taking the matter to the elders, both of them would be expelled, their marriages would end, and their jobs would be affected. From here, I don't see why they wouldn't personally harm me.
6. If I didn't succeeded at taking the matter to the elders, then I'd probably be the one to be expelled. As the information leaked, I'd be a treat for their secret.

My life was quite hard, and after that, I'm secretly an atheist since then. This happened 5 years ago and completely traumatized me. It's been 2 years that I'm not going to the meetings. If I do go to any anual meetings, then I believe I am what you'd call a PIMO. Also, since then, I've been secretly building contacts and another social life.

I'm 30 and I have a job, but I still need some help here and there because of inflation. Aside my brother, my family is full of PIMIs.

My only regret is having a best friend in there, who is PIMI and a pioneer. I still constantly get in touch with her, but that will be ending this year. I'm going to tell her the whole story (hiding intentities of the elders) and how I can't really go on with this anymore, and that we will have to take different paths. She will feel deceived, fooled, and disapointed because I didn't take the matter to the other elders, but I guess she'll understand the risks involved. She is a great person, but is blind by the "truth". I plan to tell her that, if she wants to meet or contact me again someday in the future, I'm all ears. I don't plan to block her or anything. If she decides to do so, then it's her decision.

My plan is:

1. Get an opportunity to ask my friend for coffee, unload all this information, then cut ties if necessary.
2. Being expelled is not viable at the moment because of my family's support and eldery members. I'll stick to being inactive for now.
3. Get a better job or position.
4. Move to another state.

If any of you have the slightest piece of advice to give me, especially what to say when ditching my best friend, I'd really appreciate it. It will hurt her greatly, but I was the one who had to endure all of this for all this time, and I will miss her a lot. Thanks for reading.