TLDR: I always sided with Jade and preferred her lifestyle and felt off knowing I should conform to Neeta's lifestyle.

I was a bit of a fringe JW but followed a decent amount of rules and worked my way to ministerial servant but never was considered or thought to be an Uber pimi.

When I look back at watching the Jade and Neeta saga durring the convention, I felt so much in line with Jade's initial attitude, lifestyle. While I didn't live her life that is what appealed to me. In contrast I was repulsed by the lifestyle Neeta portrayed.

When looking for girls to date, a pioneer was the last thing I wanted. I wanted to date a girl who had a dream, a passion somone who had drive. Not a submissive to the org, with part time job or no job.

The common phrase waking up before waking up, there were so many things I heard that didn't sit right, felt off, or that shouldn't be applied for my belief or worship. It was never enough for me to leave JW untill getting DF turned the world upside down.

In my heart I knew I felt just like Jade but had to secretly keep that inside. Her personality attracted me and that is what I truly wanted. You know pretty quickly the type of friends or what group to hang out with. If I was Neetas friend I'd be looking for excuses to go home. If I was chilling with Jade I'd never want the night to end.

Rant over, ExJW Panda put out a video going over the saga and this popped into my head