July 5,2023 was the day I believe I fully woke up. It was after a talk entitled learning to forgive. This was a talk that was directed towards me and my friend and family. In this talk we were labeled as liars, apostates, dangerous, and if we did not listen to the elders our salvation would be in jeopardy. We were going to be killed in tribulation for asking questions against the elders. What questions you may ask was so bad that we deserved a local needs talk directed towards us?

“How do you handle pedophiles in the congregation?”

A very simple question yet this question turned my life, as a Jehovah witnesses since I was 5 years old (currently 29), to flip upside down on its head.

All I wanted to know was what are the elders doing to keep my kids safe from these people. We approached the elders and they told us we would be glad to meet . We explained to them our concern about this person and how he is listed on the sex registry as being highly dangerous. They had no idea that this man was marked as dangerous no one even knew what he had done. Till we showed them paper work of what he was convicted of all public records. Even after we brought all this evidence proving our concern.

We were then told we need to forgive the person of their past and that he is not allowed to have any higher privileges in the congregation or be allowed at any congregation gatherings. They said “nothing like that would happen here.”

Yet that next weekend we see him cleaning at the Kingdom Hall with several sisters alone. No one watching. The following week I see pictures of this person at a congregation gathering dancing with single sisters. Then pictures at another gathering of this person doing karaoke with minor little girls.

A family approached us in concern for their child. We told them what the elders told us. They were not satisfied. So they decided to meet with the elders 2 different times. Both times they were told the exact same thing we were. They even told the wife she is being paranoid. They told them that they were not aware of anyone having problems with this pedophile.

Yet we had just meet with them weeks prior to speak our concerns.

Then a close friend of mine started to have concerns as a single female she felt unsafe. So she also approached the elders. She wasn’t too happy about how he seemed to be allowed around the children and unsupervised and yet another congregation gathering number 3 by this time. She asked to meet with the elders and they ghosted her for weeks. Until finally a meeting was set. With big surprise the explanation was the same. We need to forgive, not judge this man, just listen to the elders, and it won’t happen again.

The other family I mentioned earlier approached the elders one last time. They asked what was being done to fix the problem that many seem to be having with this person. The elders told the family “there is going to be a talk about the issue and all will be fixed and set right.”

We all eagerly waited to see what was going to happen. I made the decision to not attend because I was still very emotional and sensitive about the subject so I thought it would be best to view it via zoom. The title of the talk when I first say it left me very confused “ Learning to Forgive”, this can’t be right. Then when the talk started I knew where it was going.

It started off with a very aggressive attitude of forgiveness toward those who have been reinstated. Second part was there are those currently in the congregation who have bad attitudes toward directions they have been given. That these people are no better than apostates. Third part of the talk was you needing to following the directions of the elders because they know best. Then at the end was the worst. The elder angrily shook his fist in the air and said “all this I’m saying is preparing you for tribulation.” He threw his fist in the air and said “let’s show them what will happen if they don’t listen” on the tv screens pops up a picture of Armageddon and people being killed and the small group of witnesses being saved. So if we don’t listen we will end up like the people destroyed in the end.

I was so angry after that talk ended. I remember looking at my husband telling him . “I am done that’s it”

After that we moved halls and started to fade from there. Of course the elders at the new hall tried to encourage us to stay. But we told them what happened and that we were done. We decided to fade to make the transition less painful.

After we stopped going to meetings I sent a text to my individual close friends. Most told me I was wrong for leaving Jehovah, I need to forgive the elders, and they will no longer be my friend because I’m a danger to their family.

I lost all my friends, friends that I have had since I was 5 . Even family.

That whole ordeal lead to 3 families leaving the “truth”. My parents and my best friend. We were abused spiritually and no one saw it that way. But we did.

Since we left we have all done our research, starting seeing therapist, and trying to find normality after surviving a cult. It’s been a world wind of emotions and drama. But it finally feels good to say .

I’m no longer one of Jehovahs witnesses . Of course that’s a rough summary of what happened not including past trauma. But I thought someone might find validation in their feelings and maybe find the strength in knowing you’re not alone. Leaving is very painful but worth it . ❤️