Growing up Rash Hashanah wasn’t about crying and praying for a good year, it was about crying and praying for a spiritual and moral utopia, I really believed that the world can become a place of pure goodness, where everyone is kind and just, I believed that it could happen in my lifetime. I don’t believe that anymore the scale of human misery is beyond my comprehension, and with the two wars going on now it even feels like we’re going in the opposite direction. I feel a sense of lose and grief towards that belief that was so important to me, Realizing that I live in a world that is closer to nuclear catastrophe than to a moral mad spiritual utopia makes me feel not only said but deeply flawed as well, it makes we feel so small and insignificant I feel ashamed I feel a need to run away and hide