For too long silence was my companion, my accomplice if you will, of my own pain. It swallowed me whole like quicksand and it buried me into a hole of depression. It was the one thing in my life that I thought I would never overcome. Silence has been my enemy and posed as my faithful friend. Being silent kept me in their control, until finally one day I snapped. I had enough.

I had made an Instagram and Facebook post saying I was no longer in the Church and I told my story. Most did not want to hear it, outright either calling me a liar or saying “well.. it’s not every church that this happens.” or “that wasn’t a true CoC.”

I, at first called their bluff. Maybe this was an outlandish proclaim, maybe this is all an isolated incident, maybe I’m crazy, maybe, maybe, maybe..

And in a head filled with maybe’s, there’s a voice inside me that simply said. No. You are telling the truth. This is a cult and you're being gaslit.

The Church can say these are all isolated incidents all they want, but in reality, these are their own very principles, these are their friends, colleagues, former Elders, Preachers, Deacons, Church members. It doesn’t matter if it doesn’t happen in your church, because it could be happening in dozens of other places, and it could even be happening without you knowing about it. Because the truth is, the Church wants to cover their tracks, by any means necessary.

And I know there are those who are simply just not ready yet, who are too traumatized, who just want to be done. That’s how I used to be. Until I saw everything the Church was doing to others, how it was affecting them, how they were just like me in some ways. I still am afraid to this day even. This is how they want you to feel. They want you to be silent, to be over it. But it’s not until you get angry about it, that something can be done.