I lost my faith, woke up…whatever you want to call it about two months ago. I had been toiling with it for a while but finally admitted it to myself and others two months ago.

At first I felt this liberation, free from the guilt imposed on me, free to explore thought and have my own opinions for once. It was great.

Lately I’ve been hit with this depression and emptiness. I can’t explain it really, but just feel empty. Basically everyone in my life is in the church and I’m the outcast and I’m being pitied by most around me for being “tricked by Satan”.

The freedom that I felt was expected but this emptiness inside has been a shocker.

Had anyone else gone through this? Is this normal? I don’t even know WHY in sad…I think it has to do something with coming to grips with dealing with the hurt and pain in life without having the default “get out of jail free card” that is Christianity. Part of me feels pathetic, like I’m processing things as an adult in their late 30’s that everyone else did as a teenager.

Just wanted to vent and ramble on here as there aren’t really any in my life that can relate.