For background, I recently left my very conservative Reforned/Calvinist church which my wife still attends and is very serious about her faith. My children have gone sometimes and stayed home, we both said that we should let them chose and she seems to be fine with that. Things are still pretty new and going relatively smooth but I see this as being very problematic going forward and she doesn’t seem to think it’ll be that bad.

Things I see as a problem that I don’t know how to address:

• Her (along with her family and other church people) encouraging our children and me is seen as positive and loving. If I were to share my views, it would not get the same warm embrace. I would be the evil one, “better to have a stone around neck and thrown into river” thing.
• The idea that my views aren’t as different as they are evil and something needing change. I’m not someone who hasn’t heard the gospel, I’m an apostate.
• Leadership in the house. We come from a very conservative background where the man was the spiritual leader and leader of the household. Now I’m a heathen who will be in direct conflict with her on many moral issues.

I’m sure there are way more, but wondering how you guys that have gone through this have dealt with it. Had we come from a more liberal background, I could see it being less of an issue but my wife and our old church are very black and white on everything.