I've seen a few people share personal stories here, so I figured I would share one of my own in the hopes someone might find it useful. I tend to be a bit long winded once I get going, so crack a cold one and get comfy. This being my first reddit post, please bear with me if I bork something.

Often its pretty easy to avoid proselytizers, but sometimes, it isnt. Sometimes they are family, other times a family friend that is welcome in the household. Or anyone else you either dont want to snub, or dont want to deal with the consequences of snubbing them. Once in my case was a young woman from a very controlling and religious household, for whom I had become something of a big brother. Another was some years later in a shared living situation where two jehovahs witnesses had gotten their hooks into one of the house members, and they simply would not get the hint that I had no interest.

So, diplomacy, or the art of making a point without impaling someone on it. Understand that they are taught to see you as the enemy, and to expect an argument and conflict once they offer you the "truth". The well trained ones have a rebuttal for most arguments and a defense against most attacks. Diplomacy from the start renders their scripts useless. I sat down with each of them, let them go through their pitch, asking questions along the way such as "why would you want to talk about this to me, when you know I am not a christian?"

When they get to the moment where they pause for breath and stare at you trying to gauge how much you swallow, I ask if I might share a parable with them. Of course at this point they have to be accommodating, thats why I let them make their pitch first. No doubt many of you have heard this one.

"This is the parable of the three blind men and the elephant. And its just what it says on the tin. Three blind men, come across an elephant. The first starts feeling up its leg, finding it to be wide, solid, dry, with a rough texture. He calls to his friends, 'there is a tree here'. The second finds the trunk and begins feeling it, it wraps around his arm. Panicked, the man warns his friends that there is a snake hanging from one of the tree branches. The third moves to the other side of the 'tree' to avoid the snake, and instead finds the tail. As he feels it, he tells the others that there is a rope hanging from this branch (and whew, dont pull it!)."

"So each man, from not only his limited senses but from his point of perspective, added different details, building on the context they were told to begin with and which they assumed to be true. And together they arrived at an understanding of the subject that was entirely different from reality. In my experience, pretty much all of the 'ours is the only truth' clubs have at least some of this going on. Now on this planet there are many billions of people, from different cultures, environments, levels of wealth, walks of life, and personal points of view. No one set of teachings, no single viewpoint, can be the right path for every one of them. The numbers simply do not work."

"Now, you have come to me asking me to consider that everything I believe, regardless of what it is, is false, and to consider instead your truths. In fairness, I ask the same of you. This book you are holding, consider for the sake of argument that it is a complete work of fiction, not a factual word to be found in its pages. If true, this would not change a thing about what those words mean to you, what they have brought into your life. Thats faith. And faith, even if I do not share it, I will always respect. One of my truths is, even if I believe you are mistaken and on the wrong path, I have no right to claim some kind of authority and tell you, this is the wrong path for you. On the contrary, I can tell from how you speak that you arent just paying empty lip service, whats on your lips is whats in your heart, which is what makes it the right path for you. So us athiests might usually be your worst critics, but no, you get straight up confirmation from one today. The heart is where you recognize your truths. So long as something rings true to you there, dont let anyone tell you otherwise. I can only tell you that this is not the right path for me."

Neither one attempted to convert or preach to me again, and even with the missionaries there was some civil conversation on other topics after that day. The young woman and I remained good friends for over a decade afterwards before losing touch with one another. The gentle answer, as they are fond of quoting, turns away wrath, while the harsh word stirs up anger. Anger raises mental defenses and guarantees they will dismiss out of hand anything you say. Stay calm and diplomatic, and you can plant that seed of doubt. If not by what you say, than by "hey wait a minute, they arent all the jerks we were taught they were!"