"Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never ends."

I'm wondering how useful or harmful others find this now that you're no longer in it.

I started really holding to this definition when I started my relationship with my ex wife when I was in the United Pentecostal Church (a cult). But I really feel like it's brought me a bunch of heartache.

Another aspect of this is how the new testament requires believers to be willing to sacrifice everything the same way Christ supposedly did for them.

Example verses: "Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves."

"Let no one seek his own good, but the good of his neighbor."

I really struggle with this still even though I don't believe anymore.

In my marriage I gave and gave and gave and never got what I needed in return. I got burned out. Realized after I lost faith that my needs mattered too, but I still struggle with guilt not prioritizing others over myself.