Hello,

I am an excatholic of I'd say about 4 years. Confirmed and all. I used to be pretty much the largest hypocrite of all and wouldn't go to church, but would defend it at every measure. I will always regret that.

​

Anyway, I wanted to share my observations and thoughts after many years away from the church.

​

1. It is such a fascinating dynamic to see the holiest families go through the least holy things. For example, did it not seem like key families that were leading the youth portions of the church such as CCD (if that's still a thing) had the most emotionally troubled and at risk children? By emotionally troubled I mean self harm and severe body image issues while still maintaining HUGE superiority complexes. It just seemed like the more devote the key families were, the more troubled their children seemed to be. Although I by no means am sex-shaming or condeming these women, I personally witnessed two out of the three families in charge have daughters in my grade have multiple pregnancies. Again, I am happy those girls got the support they were fortunate enough to get, but I just felt that at the core level that if the leaders of the youth ministry's daughter's were breaking these rules, how could you preach it? I would like to hear thoughts about this and do not want to be close minded.
2. I found it interesting how there was this code of rules. Big one being "don't be gay" but every time it was brought up in a youth group, the answer was always "hate the sin not the person." What kind of garbage is that? Every day it seems like a new scandal is coming out at the highest Vatican level and still we are worried about this.
3. It took me a long time to become pro-choice. Although I hate and hated the church at that point, it really took a long time to come around to that. Is there still a split among excatholics in your experience?
4. It was very interesting as I got older that I very much missed a sense of community but refused to find that in the church.
5. It is so facinating that so many people such pride in declaring themselves Catholic while refusing to support some of the most core beliefs of the church. (aka being fine with premarital sex, LGBTQ and accepting other faiths)

Anyway, I didn't want to rant forever just to get some thoughts off my chest. I do not proclaim to be too woke, just trying to find some community here haha.

​

I hope you all have found peace.