To start off, I’m 20, and after I graduated high school, I felt as if my life was starting to feel stagnant. I’m currently in community college, and now I feel very non-religious. Honestly, my belief in SDA is now kind of nonexistent. It’s been on a slow decline; like many of you, I lost a lot of my childhood due to SDA. I thought nothing of it at the time, but now I feel resentful towards this religion in a way. My mother is extremely religious, and her mental state is quite questionable at times. My dad was an Adventist, but not anymore, and he’s easier to talk to about stuff. The two of them have, frankly, a toxic relationship but are still together after 20 years. I’m just so unsure about my life now, as now my mother constantly pressures me to come back to church. My older sister was recently baptized, and my other older sister is also in the church. Basically, me and my dad are the only ones who aren’t religious. Yet I feel guilty or ashamed a bit. I sometimes see how spiteful my mom looks at me. I feel like she’s genuinely a different person at times and not the mother I knew. I just feel lost. I used to pray and read scripture, but as I got older, I began to question it all. I’ve seen both arguments of faith and nonbelievers, but I feel conflicted still. I just want to be able to experience life and live it to the fullest. But what if I’m wrong in my judgment, you know?

Sorry if this isn’t coherent. These are just my thoughts, which I’ve been holding on to for a while. It's kind of hard to write it out.