Are you familiar with the meme about a person being in a peculiar situation (drowning in this case), pleading for help to [insert protagonist of belief system of choice] and receiving help, but it's of mortal nature instead of the pleaded for divine type. So the person in trouble declines the help, repeating its plea to the previously chosen protagonist (or another, desperation is one hell of a drug...) and the meme takes its course. This post is a metaphor to said meme, except I'm not drowning, you don't need to save me there's no orange-white striped lifebelt involved (yes, very sad indeed). However, everyone who has won the lottery has played at least once, then again everybody who ever ate bread died (exceptions to the rule are clearly statistically invalid outliers). And so my mind goes pew pew pew *add erratic hand wavy motions for immersion* and explodes into a million dreams (great song!) and paths of what could and should and isn't life just beautiful?! So then, if you have been browsing along, looking for a fateful chance to take, this is it :)

Where is this post going after that thrilling initial incident? To time saving mode! The mere detail that you are reading this post on a social media in disguise means that you are, just like me, an absolute master of time efficiency and optimization. Therefore instead of telling about myself first and ending in a tough spot to orchestrate a catchy final third, we're gonna talk about you first :) Wow look at you reading an entire paragraph about how I'm going to optimize your time usage here...

Here it goes: I'm looking for a heterogeneous friendship that has the intention of developing into a relationship. With the end goal in mind mutual physical attraction is a must, this is me through the lens of a not so casual photographer: link, be sure to also reveal yourself if you decide to message me. Furthermore, while a long distance friendship is part of the online dating experience, I'm not interested in a long distance relationship. Physically you should be smaller or the same height as me in heels (... not me in heels, you in heels compared to me, ah I'm sure you get it :D) and on the average/slim side. To all the WNBA players and Fat Bottomed girls: as Freddie said, you rock, just not me. Regarding everything else, I hope a passionate, bubbly and generally happy individual enjoys this post as much as I enjoyed writing it, so I'll let the post speak for itself, if it causes enough of a positive feeling that you decide to message me, chances are we vibe :)

So whose post are you reading? First: Career, I'm a very successful software engineer, and an entrepreneur (notice the imperative comma). Pushing my career and being good at it is important to me, and naturally I'm quite proud of it :) I'm one of the lucky ones who made his hobby into his career, so chances are if I'm not throwing fate a rope (is this even a real expression?), or following another hobby of mine (uh oh foreshadowing) I'll spend my time off developing something cool. And if you happen to show genuine interest in it, woah girl my eyes are gonna light up and the butterflies will be saved from extinction.

Next up: Character traits

I would describe myself as a passionate, inquisitive and open person. I hear you go "Yeah, right, Yanic that sentence is just a listing of buzzwords", hell yeah I love arrays, let me explain: The things I care about, I care for deeply, be it my job, a hobby, plans and goals, big or small, my friends and partner, their desires, fears and what makes them tick. Which leads to the remainder of the list, but first we need a way to quantify my "inquisitiveness" and "openness". My suggestion is a reference to the "36 questions". Inquisitive, meaning I'm not ashamed to query about the above and more. I'll challenge your answers and enjoy really digging up somebody's true self. By our above defined metric I would love to ask the 36 questions on the first date! Open, I feel truly comfortable with myself. I don't have any bottled up trauma and only one unaccepted cringe memory that keep me awake at night. I don't have anything to hide and in general I stand behind my successes and failures (I have the stereotypical "male brewing in his cave" behavior as my emotional digestion mechanism), so I have no problem answering the 36 questions too ;)

Up next: Some physical properties

I'm exactly 24 and a half years old, so I really lucked out in the gifts-per-year metric, 1.86 tall and Type 1 Diabetic for longer than I can remember. Dw I can eat anything I want, I just happened to grow up pescatarian. And thanks to my regular physician visits, I can guarantee I'm otherwise healthy and happy!

Last but not least: Hobbies and dreams

I enjoy watching a range of competitively played esports as well as (the real) F1 (Yup, I too have been recruited by Netflix's series). I've played Table Tennis for a number of years (I was recently told that it's the least attractive sport a guy can play in the eyes of a woman, thoughts?) and enjoy the gym multiple times a week. Furthermore, I enjoy long walks along promenades (Champs-Élysées in spring is my favorite), easy going D&D, ice skating, sailing and admiring my view... No seriously I'm so proud of it, I live in a freshly renovated spacious apartment, first row view across a lake, right above a bar/restaurant in the most beautiful part of Switzerland, and I have 100% home office allowance. It's great :D I dream of becoming stupid rich, yes there is a plan on what to do with the money, no it doesn't involve cars and no I won't become a megalomaniac, I already am ;) I dream of sailing the world in a Catamaran and I'll pride myself in having a RYA Yachtmaster before my drivings license (I just never needed it...)

At the end of the day, I'm looking for somebody to enrich and share my already pretty awesome life, a teammate for the less fortunate times and successes bigger than we can currently imagine. Somebody to go all MNFSDMFNFMASDHJNDFMSNF (r/crushes is such a wholesome place) over and life out my romantic side. I mean, we could even learn sign language with all its creative applications and call it SDA (Silent Display of Affection, instead of PDA)

Welcome to the baseboard, here's a potato for your troubles :)

Have a wonderful morning/afternoon/evening/night!

~ Yanic