My ex and I were together for about five years. A couple years in we went out one night with another couple. He was friends with the guy and knew the guys girlfriend a bit because they all worked for the same company. The girlfriend and I (let’s call her S) hit it off. A few weeks later we ended up going out to dinner together and then hung out once or twice more with a couple of my friends.

At some point S and her boyfriend broke up and I didn’t hear from her for a while. I thought it might be weird because my partner was close with the Ex. But eventually we reconnected. And not too long after she had a new boyfriend (T).

T and S became good friends with me and my partner (now ex). They had more in common with him because of some common interests and work history. But we all got along. Sometimes they would text us both, sometimes they would just text one or the other of us. I think maybe they liked him more than me but I’m not really sure about that. I do feel like they reached out to him a little bit more than me… But that might just be because his schedule is more complicated In terms of planning to get together.

S and T Also had a complicated schedule between work and having partial custody of his kids. But we saw each other a fair amount over the last couple years.

A year or so ago S and T got engaged. They sent us a save the date.

The wedding is coming up soon and my ex and I split up before the official invite came out. But I’m sure that it was sent to his house (where I used to live).

I’ve reached out a bit to S since the breakup. As usual it’s been hard to schedule But I also think maybe they have “chosen” my ex in the split. Apparently he went to S’s birthday party and I was not invited (She said she thought I was out of town but I think that was probably just a kind excuse… I don’t blame her at all I don’t think inviting both of us would be a good idea).

Anyway, I’ve try to connect with S a couple of more times. She seems happy to hang out but it never quite happens. I’ve pulled back the last several weeks because I don’t want to push a friendship that may be uncomfortable for her. And of course I haven’t mentioned anything about being invited to the wedding. I assume my ex got the invitation and he is going… I don’t think I need to say anything to her about that?

In some of my recent communications with S I asked her If they have a wedding registry because I’d like to get her something. At the time we were talking about scheduling a get together and she didn’t answer my question about the registry. I’m not sure if she just forgot to answer because we were talking about several things or if she intentionally did not answer because she doesn’t want me to get her anything (Maybe she feels bad about un-inviting me?)

Anyway I’m not really sure what to do. I’d like to stay friends with S and T… But I don’t wanna push it. I would like to extend the olive branch of getting them a gift for their wedding, though… But if it makes them uncomfortable for me to do so, I don’t want to do that. I guess I could also just get them something else That’s not a part of their registry just to let them know that I’m thinking about them on that day.

I’ve also thought about reaching out to S once more maybe the week before the wedding wishing her luck and letting her know I’d love to catch up once all the wedding craziness is over. But maybe that’s too much.

Sorry this is long. I’m just feeling really awkward and unsure of how to proceed