In my marriage, I was accustomed to vanilla sex. I admit I enjoyed it for many years. As I reached my “sexual peak” in my mid-30s it wasn't enough; the first time I mentioned roleplay I was given the silent treatment for a week. When I suggested nipple clamps (I bought a set to go with my dildo, “Nick” and Mr. Pinky, my vibrator I was getting my needs met alone) he looked me dead in the eyes and told me I was, “a fucking whore and he would never be married to someone so nasty. Do not EVER bring them up again!” 🥺 I was devastated that the one person who was to be my life partner felt so negatively about me and my blooming sexuality. I feel you need to know something so private to understand how conflicting it feels to be with Cap! I have a lover who subtly mentions things I have longed to hear and do (good girl and swats on the a$$.)

As I Lay there on Cap’s chest catching my breath after taking my hardest, deepest strokes (to date 😏) how do I approach this? I started kissing his chest, rubbing my hands on his body wondering if my touch had anywhere close to the effect on him as he did on me. I went for it, “I like that.” he replied, “You like what?” kissing down his torso I spoke to his belly button, “You calling me a good girl.” I held my breath not knowing his reply. I could hear the smile on his face, “Oh, you do you!? I wasn't sure since we didn't discuss very many rules before we started.” all I could reply was, “Well I like it, a LOT!”

He replied, “What else do you like?” with a light tap on my left cheek. (the bottom cheek, not my face.) 😁 I couldn't contain my smiggle (smile giggle ) “That” was all I could get out before turning bright red (which is pretty red!)

He fell silent, so I continued kissing his body, rubbing my hands over his c@&k through his underwear. Feeling him growing more erect. I let out a sound I had never heard myself make. I swear I purred. 🤣

“I like the sounds you make,” he said with a smile. “Stop and stand up” in a firm voice. I did as quickly as I was told. I was a bit wiggly from becoming aroused again. “Stand still and close your eyes.” his voice a bit firmer than before. I did as I was told. If you need to know what vulnerability is stand naked in front of a new lover with your eyes closed. 🙈 I'm telling every inch of my ADHD body and brain 🧠 to do what he says. I feel him lean in, he touches my arm, and I feel his breath on my ear. “I want to look at your skin from every angle…before I turn it Red.”

🤤🥵🔥🥰😻😏 stay tuned