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Part 40

When their kiss broke, she said to Gabriel “Good luck dealing with that, Sir.”

She sighed, composed herself and then she just walked away…

As she walked away, swinging her hips and somehow managing to make her butt jiggle, at least I think she was doing it on purpose.
She only turned back to make playfully defiant eye contact… the cheeky, jiggly bitch.

Gabriel just looked at me smiling, I am sure I was visibly still in shock.
He said, “Red, are you OK?” I just asked “Did that just happen? Did she do that on purpose? To make me jealous?”
He replied “She can be a bit of a handful at times... But how are you doing?” I said “Jealous, but not as bad as I would think.”

There was a part of me that thought that I should be more upset than I was, but I just wasn’t. Why?
Was it the moments we had?
Was it the shock?
Was it because she admitted that she was jealous too?
Was it because if I were in her shoes, I would do the exact same thing?

And then there was the part where she wished Gabriel good luck dealing with “THAT” … that insolent, jiggly bitch! She will pay for this.

Gabriel broke my moment and said “Red, are you sure you’re alright? It is ok if you’re not, we can work through it” and I replied “Sir, I am surprisingly well! I don’t know why, but I am good, I promise.”
He just looked at me, squinting his eyes with disbelief.
I guess given our previous experiences with jealousy, he was expecting me to react differently, and I couldn’t blame him. Even I didn’t believe that the only thing that was in my mind was getting even with Christina.

He said, “Ok beautiful, I am believing in your promise that you’re doing well, but you do understand that It is a bit unlike you to not get upset at times like this, right?” I replied, “Yes I do, I am shocked myself, but I am feeling fine.”
He said, “Ok beautiful, I am just making sure you’re OK.”
I considered letting him know that I was feeling a bit competitive with Chrissie, but I figured I would deal with her jiggly ass on my own… she will feel my wrath.

I simply said, “Sir, I am fine, I promise. But I do have a question.” and he replied, “What’s your question, beautiful?”
I said “It seems like every time we’re together, we have these heavy, emotional conversations and moments. I am not complaining, I like it… I am just curious if this is how it always will be?”
He smiled and said, “That’s my girl, I love how your brain works.” I loved getting his approval, I don’t know why, but I did.

He continued, “To answer your question: No, that’s not how it always will be, or even how it always is.
What happens is that, as I explained to you in the beginning, we’re getting the difficult parts out of the way now, so we don’t have to deal with them later on.
We’re paving the way for a more open, fun, loving environment in the future.
The more we deal with tough, uncomfortable issues, the more room we’re making for truly enjoying ourselves.

For example: If today is any indication, in the very near future, jealousy will be something we’ll look back on as a past and challenging stage in our relationship, because we faced it head-on.”

I just listened and nodded in agreement; I mean, he was right, a beautiful woman just fucking kissed MY BOYFRIEND in front of me and I sat there, hatching up a plan to get even with her. Prior to all of this, I would’ve felt defeated, angry and ran to my room to hide under the covers, swearing off men and probably making a Facebook post about how all men are pieces of shit.

Then I remembered, I wanted to talk about his jealousy, or insecurity, when he talked about Chrissie’s date and referred to him as “Monogamous Dude”.
The question was, should I bring it up?
Sure as fuck I should bring it up! They called me out on my shit, I should be able to do the same!

I said, “Gabriel, can I ask you a personal question?”
He just looked while drinking his tea and said “Of course you can.”
I explained that when we talked about Chrissie's date, he had a reaction and gave the guy a nickname.
I explained that being that I had experience with jealousy, I could tell.

He took a deep breath, and I just sat there, waiting to see what he was going to say.
He said, “I understand what you mean and how you got to that conclusion – great observation, by the way… I love your brain! – anyway, but what you saw is not jealousy, it is territorialism.”
I laughed and sarcastically said “Territorialism??? Oh please! That’s the same thing!”

He sat there quietly, letting me finish getting my laughter out of the way and asked, “Are you done laughing?”
I, still kind of laughing, said “Yes sir, I am done.”

He took his customary breath and explained, “No, it’s not the same thing. Jealousy comes from insecurity and fear. It’s feeling threatened by someone else’s presence, or wanting to control the situation, like saying, ‘If she is with him, she can’t have me.’

Territorialism is about care, protection, and yes, a sense of ownership—but not in a controlling way.
It’s about protecting what’s important to me, making sure it’s respected.
It’s more like saying, ‘I value what we have, and I’m committed to protecting it.’”

I stared at him, trying to process what he was saying.
He added, “Think of it like this: If you plant an apple tree, you care for it, you water it and make sure it has everything it needs to flourish.
You don’t mind someone looking at it, you might even offer them an apple or two, but you will protect it by making sure they don’t harm the tree.
You’re ensuring that what you’ve created remains intact and respected.”

I nodded slowly, beginning to understand. “So, you’re not trying to stop Chrissie from seeing other people, you just want to make sure it doesn’t mess with what you two have?”

“Exactly,” he said. “I want her to be happy and fulfilled, even if that means it’s not with me—or with us, rather. But I’m also invested in what we’ve built.
I’m not trying to be in his place; I’m making sure that whatever she does respects the boundaries and values we’ve set.”

I nodded, feeling the clarity settle in. “Okay, I think I understand now. It’s not about fear, it’s about protecting and supporting.”

He said, “Exactly, it’s just like I told you when we first met:

You are mine—to love, protect, guide, and use as I see fit.

It’s the same with Chrissie.
And just like with her, I understand there may come a time when you’ll want to pursue needs that I can’t or won’t fulfill.

My needs, desires or insecurities should not, and WILL NOT, limit your human experience, or your happiness for that matter.”

Shit! That was profound and admirable. I mean, it’s one thing to say it, but an entirely different thing to actually live it.

How could he not feel cheated? Abandoned even?

I wondered what needs I could have that he wouldn’t be able or willing to fulfill. I mean, up until now, he’s been more than accommodating to my bullshit—dealing with my insecurity, my jealousy, and my request to wait until I was ready to jump into bed with him.

Speaking of needs, if I’m being honest, all this sounded great and I was enjoying every minute of it, but I was still plotting how to get back at Chrissie’s jiggly ass. Her deeds could not go unnoticed or unpunished… I NEEDED to do something. She’s going to learn—there’s a new sheriff in town.

I’VE GOT IT!
I had a brilliant idea… I had no clue how I was going to pull it off, but at least I had an idea.

I looked at Gabriel and said, “Oh yeah! I never finished telling you about my mom—she sent you a message.”
He looked at me, intrigued, and with half a smirk asked, “Is that right? What did she say?”

I felt a surge of shyness but pushed through it.
Focusing on a random spot on the table, I managed to say, “She said that if you want to make out with her daughter, you should do it in the backseat, not at her front door... like civilized people.”
My palms were sweaty, my heart racing—it was terrifyingly exhilarating!
The excitement made me start to feel a little warm and moist, if you know what I mean.

Gabriel grinned from ear to ear, and I could tell he enjoyed the moment.
He went on to say “Red, you do know you can say those things to me without getting nervous, right?”

Wait a fucking minute, focus on the message, not the messenger!
The important part here is not my shyness, it is the backseat!

I blushed and he said “Red, you’re so delightfully shy and adorable.”

No! Wait! Backseat, think backseat!
Dude, read the room!

Sigh… I guess not.

I just said, “I thought it was funny, so I wanted to share it with you.”
Then he looked in my eyes and said, “Make sure you let her know I said that soon, I will be making out... with you... naked... on my bed.”
FUUUUUUCCCCCKKKKK!
So much to process!!! I started trying to hint at having a make out session in the backseat, but now I am sitting there trying to not focus on the thought of being on his bed, naked and making out.
Way to knock me out of my mission... well played, sir, well played.

I had to look down while I blushed and said “Sir, I am shyyyy!” and he started laughing. But I was not done yet, while still hiding my face, I said, “notice I said I am shy, but I didn't say 'no'.”
I could see he didn’t expect that one.
He simply smiled and said, “I am enjoying seeing you push yourself out of your shell… I am loving it so much.”
I smiled and coyly said “I told you I am a fast learner” and we both smiled, but Gabriel gave me that suggestive look I was growing familiar with, but still made me blush.

After a little while, Gabriel signaled the waiter to bring the check, took care of it and said, “Let’s get out of here beautiful, it is time to get going.”

Sigh… So much for a backseat of the car date.
This would be so much easier if I wasn’t so shy, I bet you Ms. Jiggly would probably just say “I want you to take me to the backseat and have your way with me.” And it would be done.

I was not defeated just yet though, I had to figure something out… the last word in tonight’s battle had not been said.

As we walked towards my car, Gabriel put out his arm for me to hold and it was still as magical as it was the first time. I loved being at his arm and just letting myself rest on him.
Eventually he noticed that I was particularly quiet and asked if I was alright, I responded that I was fine and that I was just thinking about tonight.

When we got to my car, Gabriel just looked in my eyes and said “Red, thank you so much for tonight. You were strong and brave.
I am so proud of you and more importantly, I am so grateful that you have decided to really put an effort into making this work, you are amazing, and you were fantastic tonight.”

His gaze and loving way of saying things to me made me feel so seen and that he understood that despite how good things were, it was still a lot of work for me.

I then said “You’re welcome, Sir. I am happy that you can have your cake and eat it too.”
We both laughed and he said, “The whole cake thing is not going away any time soon, is it?”
I simply said, “I don’t see that happening, but it is funny, you have to admit that much.” He took a deep breath and said “yeah, it is… I guess it is ok.”

He looked like he was about to wish me a good night and still no progress on the backseat thing… FUCK!!!
Think Red, THINK!!!

I lowered my eyes, so I was looking at his chest and said sheepishly “Sir, so do I tell my mom that we’re going go straight to making out on your bed? No backseat?” Gabriel let out an audible exhale, I knew he was smiling, I just did not want to look.
Then he said “Red, are you trying to tell me something?”

Shit! Shit! Shit! He is going to want me to say it, isn’t he? Fuck!

I said “well, I was hoping…” and he replied, “I will make you a deal, if you look into my into my eyes and tell me what you want, I will make it happen.”

FUCK!!! I knew he was going to do this!
I was still hyper focused on his chest; anyone looking would think his chest was the most interesting thing in the world.
I just whined a little “Sir, I am shyyyyy!!!” and he responded, “Do you want your shyness to define how tonight ends, or are YOU going to define it?”
I closed my eyes, took a deep breath and thought about what he said… he was right.

C’mon Red, this is Gabriel we’re talking about… you can do it!

One last deep breath, I lifted my head, opened my eyes to meet his and there he was… the man that was making it his job to make me push past all my discomforts and boundaries. With my heart jumping out of my chest, I clenched my hands, knees wobbly and almost hyperventilating, I said “Sir, can we please go to the backseat?”

He silently processed what I had just asked of him and let my words just linger in the air.
Then a gentle and proud smile painted his face as he said “There she is, that’s my good girl. Thank you for pushing past your discomfort… and yes, I will take you to the backseat.”

I did it! I did it! I couldn’t believe I did it. I asked for it and he said yes!

I know this is not a lot for most people, but this was a lot for me. I felt relieved and proud of myself; I also felt so happy that I was able to push through it… not to mention his approval. There was a point while I was speaking that I felt like something enormous was coming out of me and speaking for me… and you can guess where it was coming out of.

He walked me to his car, opened his trunk and got a black banket-type-of-thing.
He took a minute to place it between the 2 front seats, moved both front seats forward, turned on the radio and instructed me to get in.
Holy shit! I was doing it!!!

When I got in, I noticed that the blanket blocked view from in between the 2 front seats, sort of a makeshift privacy screen… this was not his first rodeo!
I know I should’ve been turned off with his preparedness and him knowing exactly what to do, but I was not. I was glad one of us knew what to do.

Then he got in next to me and my heart was about to jump out of my chest.
I could hear my heart pounding in my ears not knowing what was about to happen…

to be continued... eventually.