Part 28 - For context, see my profile.
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When we finished our dinner, which was to die for, the waiter came back and asked if we wanted dessert, which I kind of wanted if I am being honest. Of course, Mr. Gabriel did not and said, “No thank you, just the check please.” I can’t lie and say that I was not disappointed, but I can’t just overrule Gabriel… could I? Hush Red, just play it safe… for now, next time I am so getting dessert.

We then walked out of the restaurant, Gabriel put his arm out for me, and I grabbed it, of course. We started walking but we passed his car, and I said “the car is right here, Sir” to which he replied “I know, I see it. We’re not done yet.” “Alright, I am sorry, Sir” I said, and we continued walking. After about 10 minutes of us just walking and talking and flirting, we arrived at this tiny little café and he joyfully said, “we’re here, they have the most delightful pastries, and they are open late.” Yay! I was getting dessert after all!

We walked in, he picked a table and pulled the chair for me to sit, and I didn’t hesitate this time, I was proud of myself.
It’s funny—before tonight, I would’ve said I didn’t like this because it was old-fashioned and antiquated. But now I know I was full of shit; it’s not that I didn’t like it, I just never had it before.

The café felt like a hidden garden, warm and intimate under the soft glow of string lights. A tree in the center was decorated with twinkling lights, just a cozy and secluded vibe.
How did I not know about this place? It would be a cool place to just come hang out at some point.

This time Gabriel just ordered a black coffee and instructed me to order a pastry we could share along with a drink for myself, and this was more than fine with me.

Once we got our drinks and my dessert, I wanted to continue our conversation from earlier and said, “Were you really shy?” Honestly, I just couldn’t see it, it just did not make sense. He responded "Very. Being an immigrant kid who didn’t speak the language and got bullied regularly doesn’t exactly breed the most outgoing, confident adult.
On top of that, I’m an introvert by nature, which didn’t really help either."

Hmmm... this man just keeps getting more interesting by the minute. I asked “So, how did you overcome being shy?” We will talk about the introvert part after this, cause… well, curiosity.
He replied “Who says I have overcome it? I mean, I am still shy, the shy feelings are still there, I just fight through them when it is necessary.”
I said “no no no, that goes against being shy, in principle at least. Being shy means, you can’t fight through it… right?” He was quick to respond “Sure, if you want to your shyness to define you.
Personally, I pick my battles and if think that the moment calls for me to fight through it, I fight through it. Like when a gorgeous woman throws a coin at my feet trying to get my attention… trying to pick me up.”

Wait a fucking minute! Did he just say what I think he said? Cause I think he just insinuated that I picked him up at the coffee shop.
I could not help but laugh and blush in embarrassment while he just sat there and looked at me with a smirk and his usual confidence I was getting so used to and found so sexy.
I of course denied it because I knew the furthest thing in my mind at the time was to try to pick a man up, but I had to give him credit, it was funny.

Once I regained my composure and my face was almost back to normal, I asked “Are you serious? Can you fight through it?” He swiftly responded “of course you can. You can fight through anything that makes you uncomfortable.
I believe that the key to overcoming discomfort lies within the discomfort itself."
He sighed and paused to say “you’re going to make me talk about this whole thing, aren’t you?” he took a deep breath and continued “We're talking about shyness, correct? Shyness makes us uncomfortable and want to run to whatever is comfortable, right?” – this man was talking directly to my soul. I said “yes, Sir” and he continued “well, what happens when you run from it? Nothing! It just alleviates the pressure that you were under; but the next time you experience the same thing, you still feel uncomfortable.
Has that been your experience?” I nodded in agreement, and he continued “Well, if you are serious about overcoming something like shyness, all you have to do is sit through the discomfort and after a few times, it is not as uncomfortable anymore.”
I just sat there, listening and processing, but refuted “what if the discomfort is too much? I don’t think I can do it.” He just smiled, looked at me and said “Red, look at you. Remember when we first met? You couldn’t string two words together, and look now, you’re the main girlfriend.”

Holy shit! He was right, for some reason I was able to work through my shyness with him and that all led up to this moment right here; But I wasn’t completely sold on it so I said, “That really doesn’t count, you made it easy on me.” He replied “No I didn’t, I was being myself and you forced yourself to be yourself out in the open. That is all that happened after you purposely threw that coin at my feet.” – he smiled, and I blushed while giving the best disapproving face I could while blushing.
He was not done and said “And even after every uncomfortable moment, there was something that helped you fight through it. Let’s be realistic, every single thing I have said to you has been uncomfortable, and yet here you are… the main girlfriend.

The most interesting part of all this though, would be to find out:
what was it that made you fight through it?”

Deer in headlights, again.

As fascinated as I was with the conversation and some of the things he was helping me see about myself, I honestly could not answer that question. I didn’t know what made me stay that day at the coffee shop, but if I am being honest, I am very glad that I did.

I stayed quiet for a second and said, “I can’t answer that question, I just really don’t know.” He replied, “I think it was the gray in my beard, you have a thing for old men.” HOLY SHIT! Can this man read my mind? Is there anything about me that he doesn’t know?
There was absolutely no way he could know I was curious about older men; it just was not possible.

I decided to get a little cheeky, maybe it would take some of the pressure off and said, “Sir, please don’t do that. Don’t call me out on my shit… I am shy.” And we both laughed a little before he replied “Red, I don’t judge and you will understand that soon enough. I am just glad you aimed at my foot when you threw that coin.” And we laughed some more.

There was a part of me that wondered if he really thought I threw that coin at his feet on purpose, or was it a joke? Is he ever going to let that joke go? Regardless, even with a bruised ego I knew it really was funny.

While all this was incredibly fascinating to me, it was helping me understand a lot about myself and I was enjoying him so much, I still felt I needed to say something that had been on my mind.
I just hoped he allowed me to because it did have to do with the state of the relationship and he was clear earlier that he did not want to get into relationship talk, but I felt it was important.

I took a deep breath and said “Sir, can I say something? I know you said you did not want to talk about our relationship tonight, but I really need to talk about it.”
He looked at me with curiosity and sympathy, then said “Go ahead beautiful, what do you need to talk about?”

I felt nervous and anxious, I honestly did not know how this was going to go, but I felt I had to say it before it was too late.
I took a deep breath and said “I need to talk about sex. I don’t know what you have planned for tonight, but I need you to know that I don’t think I am ready to jump into a sexual relationship.
I know I might’ve given you a different impression the other night, but I am just not ready.
I hope you can understand that.”

He stayed quiet for a second, took a deep breath and said “Red, you’re so adorable and beautiful. I thank you so much for saying this to me, I know how difficult it must’ve been for you to bring this up.
I appreciate it and I am very proud of you for saying it.

Having said that, Red, look at me... I promise you that we will not have sex until you are ready, I will not pressure you or anything of the sort.

Is that something you can live with?”

I sighed in relief; I could not believe how easy and simple this was. I thought it was going to be a long and uncomfortable conversation, but he made it so easy.

I simply said “Yes Sir, I can live with that. Thank you for understanding, Sir”.

At this point, I was getting mighty comfortable with the “Sir” thing, it felt good saying it. I really didn’t understand why, but I was liking it and not planning to stop anytime soon.

We went back to our dessert, coffee and flirting.

After that, we got into his car, back to the guitar music and me feeling ecstatic about everything. I did not want the night to end, and then I remembered, from now on, this is what my Tuesdays were going to be like, and it was a wonderful feeling.

With that thought, came another not so great thought, “Tomorrow is Wednesday… ‘Christine, or whatever her name is’ day.” ugh! How was I supposed to live with that?

to be continued...