This is part 16 of my story.
I am reconstructing my story from my diary, emails, texts and memory. Granted, I may be romanticizing things, but this is how I remember it. The conversational parts are obviously paraphrased.

-Red
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As we started walking down the street, he offered his arm for me to hold, and I held it, and it felt GOOOOOD!

Immediately, as we started walking, I began asking him one of the questions that I had, and he said, "Red, I understand you have questions. I get how important they are, and as you know, I don't have a problem with answering any of them. But let's take a break; let's just enjoy each other's company for a little while. I would really enjoy that."

I can't lie, I was a little offended by his response. I mean, I had spent a great deal of time trying to figure out these questions, and I needed answers, NOW! ... But I desisted, and for a long while, we just walked and talked, but not about the topic I had been obsessing over for the past few days. Instead, we talked about movies, books, things we like to do... a regular date!

I was used to this serious, composed, and straight-to-the-point person, who I thought would pull out a PowerPoint presentation about how to kiss properly; but to my amazement, he was so funny, witty, and even geeky. Though he stayed composed, he had some very funny things I never expected from him, perhaps because of his composure… It was so unexpected.
He was full of little quirks and knew so much about different things, like a walking, talking, sexy Google. Something that really stood out was that he was not as bossy as I expected him to be; I thought he would be like a drill sergeant, telling me to stand up straight, what to do, and all that, but not at all. He was gentle and thoughtful with his words and actions. I thought, "Maybe this is his 'date personality,'" and as soon as that wore off, it would be hard times for poor old Red.

Anyway, we kept on walking, talking, laughing, and flirting a little bit... I enjoyed that part, perhaps a little too much. Before I knew it, I was so relaxed, and the pressure that I had felt for the past few days had completely vanished. I was just enjoying myself.

I noticed that at some points, he would move me from his side to the other side as we walked. I thought it was weird, so I asked him why he did that. He explained that it was a habit he had, and it was meant to protect me from anything coming from the street, like cars, water splashes, stuff like that. He even told me a story about how, in some cultures, if the woman is on the side of the street, it was a sign that he was "selling" her. I responded, "Good! Because I’m not for sale... but I will consider interesting trades!" We both chuckled about that one… Now that I read it, it was not that good, but maybe it is one of those things that you had to have been there.

Eventually, we ended up in a park, found a picnic table, and he led me to sit down, and he sat facing me. He asked me if I was still feeling overwhelmed, to which I responded with a big sigh, "No, not at all. This was exactly what I needed." He sarcastically responded by saying, "See? I know what's good for you, all you have to do is listen." I knew he was joking, but at the same time, I knew he was not.

I took advantage of a moment of silence and told him how different he was from what I had imagined. I had this image of a silent, strict, demanding sergeant in my head, but he was totally different. He laughed and said, "Well, this is my date personality; I can't scare you off before you sign up."
We both laughed a little, and then he continued, "Not at all, this is how I usually am, this is how I like to be. However, I have to make my intentions clear to avoid any confusion. When we first met, you wanted to be friends. Let’s say I agreed, even though I had my intentions. But eventually, I tell you about my needs, desires, rules, and requirements. You might feel misled or even cheated. You could even say, ‘We can’t, we’re just friends,’ correct? That would be a bad situation for both of us. But now, even though you've seen beyond all the things that may make you uncomfortable, you are still fully aware of my intentions, desires, needs, and all those things, and know that they are still a priority, correct?"

I responded, "Okay, Mr. Gabriel, point taken, but don't you think you scare people that way?" With his hands loosely clasped and his eyes meeting mine, he said, "I don't think so… but if I do scare them, it scares the ones who can't handle honesty, and if that is the case, I don't want them in my life. Certainly not in the capacity that I want you."

When he said that, I almost melted, and the teenage girl inside me said, "He wants me! He wants me! He wants me!" 

Of course, on the outside, I just gave a sheepish smile and broke eye contact because it was just too much, you know? He, of course, did not let me get away with that and said, "You're so lovely when you get shy and nervous, Red... especially now that you're about to blush and turn red, Red," and he laughed, and I blushed, and I could not look him in the eye for a little while. I was consumed by the butterflies in my stomach and the nervousness he made me feel. I was on cloud nine and a half!

He took that moment to get back at it and said, "Okay, Red, what other questions do you have for me?" And for the life of me, I could not remember any questions, except one... the questions about sex and orgies and lesbian acts, but honestly sex talk would make me more nervous. Besides, I was enjoying myself too much to bring up that subject. I was even more spellbound than the first time, just lost in the moment and that gaze that drove me nuts. I just did not want that moment to end, you know that feeling.

I also knew that asking serious questions could end this moment, which I did not want... but I was curious.

I asked, "A minute ago, when you talked about people who can't handle honesty and how you would not want them in the capacity that you want ME... what capacity do you want me in?" I knew that this could go in many different ways. What if he said, “I want you to be my fuck buddy” or something like that? But I needed to know.

He took a moment to think about his response. I noticed he did that a lot; whenever he was about to talk about a sensitive or deep subject, he paused to think, and then, with a deep breath, he'd let me know he was ready to answer... mental note: find out why he does this.

Then he answered, "Red, I never go into a relationship thinking it is going to be temporary or short term. My nature dictates that if I am going to be involved with anyone, I am going to love them intensely, and it could be to my detriment, not because I want it to, but because that is just the way it could happen. Having said that, and to answer your question, if WE both decide that we're going to be together and that this is something that will be good for both of us, then I see you being in my life permanently."

Holy shit! Holy shit! Holy shit! Is this for real?? I mean, I was not sure if I wanted all of this or even part of this, but the feelings I had been developing and the entrancement I experienced while I was with him and that gaze and that smile and that mind... I could get used to all those.

Somehow, I managed to maintain my composure and just smiled while blushing as he continued, "Of course, that is with the understanding that you can live with the things we have talked about, such as polyamory, you being mine, to guide, to love, to protect—all those things that are critical for me."

Uggghhh... all those things, some sound good, but some sound contradicting to my upbringing... So, I got a little bold, ballsy even. I mean, he is talking all kinds of serious and permanent things, with his requirements and all that, so I said, "Ok, Mr Gabriel... it seems like you're requiring a lot of things from me, but it feels very one-sided. I will be doing all the compromising, and you won't be doing much other than telling me what to do... not only that, you want me to be excited about it. Would YOU get into something like this?"

And then I waited for his response…