part 1a part 1b part 2a

August 7^th, 2024

After Sunday’s debacle with Ricky and Terry I needed some feminine touch, and lots of it. I thought about calling Abby but decided to call Steph instead and take her up on the offer of throwing a party for me. I told her I wanted something public, something girls-only, and that I wanted to be the center of attention.

Yesterday, an hour before dusk when the day had started to cool off, Steph picked me up and drove me to the nude beach that I frequent, but she took me to the farthest end of the parking lot and then took me on foot farther up the beach than I’d ever been, well past where anyone else was relaxing. I was wearing a bikini and a sheer cover-up. Steph brought a cooler of drinks and a giant beach mat which she spread out a little ways back from the waterline under the shade of some eucalyptus trees. She kept checking her phone while we sat together and drank water until she finally pulled out a blindfold and told me to put it on because the tops were almost here and she wanted me to be surprised.

I put the blindfold on and my stomach, which had already been full of butterflies, started doing somersaults in anticipation. I nervously finished my bottle of water and played with the empty until Steph grabbed it out of my hands and told me that they were here. I took my blindfold off and there were four absolutely stunning women in all different sizes, shapes, and colors, and despite the tiny lesbian community in my city I didn’t recognize any of them. Some of them were wearing swimsuits but two were wearing street clothes which made me feel vulnerable in the hottest of ways. I looked down the beach to make sure that no one had moved close enough to see us.

I stood up as the four women all approached me and they started petting and rubbing me all over my body. One of them, a Latina soft butch a couple inches shorter than me with unbelievable curves poorly hidden by her baggy t-shirt and cargo pants, helped me out of my cover up, and the dark-skinned amazon of a woman with short-cropped graying hair pulled down the straps on my bikini while kissing me and telling me that everything was going to be alright, I was in good hands. And I knew I was. There was a tiny White girl who couldn’t have been older than 25 kissing me up and down my legs and then an Asian woman built like a power lifter helped me sit back down on the mat.

Over the next thirty or forty minutes I was loved all over my body (except my feet, not into that). I was cuddled and gently stimulated on the most sensitive parts of my breasts, my belly, my neck and shoulders, my lower back, the backs and inner surfaces of my thighs, my vulva. Eight hands, four mouths, four warm torsos on me, holding me and kissing me. They let me touch them, too, let me fill all of my senses with their bodies. The tiny White girl had a surprising bubble butt, I might want to play with her again some time. They took turns letting me lap up the wetness between their legs while kneeling over my face (except the Asian power lifter, who didn’t want to be touched between her legs at all) and they fed me my own juices off of their fingers. When I was good and warmed up the Latina and the butch Asian each took out their straps and first one, then the other, penetrated me while the others continued to caress me, kiss my mouth, stroke my hair, and tell me how hot and beautiful I am and that I deserve to feel good things.

I don’t think I can measure the experience in how many times or how hard I came. Although there was plenty of that, that wasn’t really what it was about. Don’t get me wrong, it was hot as hell, but mostly I felt safe and cared for. These four strangers (plus Steph) came together to treat my body as something sacred.

August 10^th, 2024

Not sure if this was a new high or a new low for me. I was feeling especially slutty on Friday so I drove across town in a tight t-shirt and a short denim skirt like it was 2004 and parked myself at a bar that I’ve never been to, determined to pick someone up. I knew it wouldn’t be difficult; I am generally considered attractive and men are very easy to seduce. Within thirty minutes of sitting at the bar someone was trying to chat me up. He was pretty good looking, tall, curly black hair, strong jaw, good hygiene, and a body that clearly spent time at the gym without being overly muscular. He was a little bit sleazy with his pickup routine and normally I don’t tolerate disrespect, but this time I decided to go with it.

Pretty soon Paul asked me if I wanted to go back to his place and I said no (safety first, girls), but I’d be happy to fool around in his car. His eyes lit up, he closed out his tab, then took me out to the parking lot. We made out in the backseat of his sedan and his hands felt good feeling me up. He knew what he was doing up my skirt, and I wanted to do more but it was honestly way too cramped, so I told him that if he wants we could go over to the park across the street and if he made me cum I would blow him. He didn’t need to hear any more details. We crossed the street, walked a little ways into the park where he pushed me against a tree just off the walking path and we continued making out. He had his hand up my skirt again and his mouth on my neck, and after a few short minutes I came. It was time for his reward.

I took him a few more steps off the path, put him against a tree so that we were obscured from view to the rest of the park. Paul pulled his pants down just far enough that I could pull out his erection. It had a pronounced hook upwards and back which was kind of cool, I’d never seen one like that before, and it wasn’t too big for me to handle with my mouth. I tried to remember the lesson that Brandon gave me last month, making sure to lick, suck, and kiss every part from the bottom of the scrotum all the way up to the tip, to let my mouth and hand follow each other up and down the shaft. I felt so dirty with my lips on his dick and my knees in the grass, the evening breeze all around me and my heart beating fast. I took my t-shirt off.

I heard someone clear their throat and at first I thought it was Paul, but then I heard it again and looked up. There was a man standing maybe 10 feet away staring at us with his hand touching his crotch through his pants. Paul startled and started to pull his pants back up but I said “don’t” and kept going. He seemed confused but relaxed quickly when I took his entire cock into my mouth. For the next minutes I gave the stranger a little bit more of a show, putting some extra spit into it and moaning, pulling my skirt up so that my entire ass was out. The man spoke up. “Can I get next?” he asked. I told him no, but he could come closer and masturbate while he watched. He pulled out his penis and went to town on it.

Paul must have been overwhelmed because in seconds he told me he was going to cum. I pulled his dick out of my mouth and got his load all over my chest. The stranger was still going though; he told me I was so hot and asked could he please at least touch me. I told Paul not to go anywhere in case it got dangerous (safety first, girls) and told the stranger that yes, he could touch my ass if he wanted. I stood and leaned forward against the tree where Paul had been standing, stuck my ass out and put a hand in my underwear, both to rub myself and to keep this stranger’s hands out of there. He stood behind me and squeezed my ass cheek with one hand while he kept masturbating with the other. After a minute he groaned and I felt a warm splatter on my ass and thighs. By the time I turned around he had already disappeared back into the park.

Paul was in shock. He asked me if this was a normal Friday evening for me and I assured him that it definitely was not, I just need to blow off some steam. He asked for my number and I said absolutely not, but if he sees me around he should say hi. I used my t-shirt to wipe the cum off of my chest and my butt cheeks,walked quickly back across the street to my car, and drove home sticky.

August 13^th, 2024

Last week I crossed several lines in my sexual adventures that I knew I shouldn’t have. I was feeling dirty and gross. My father is Catholic and my mother is Jewish so I know a thing or two about guilt and I wanted to confess, not online to strangers, but to a real life flesh and blood human. I messaged Connor, the dom I played with back in July, and told him what I had in mind.

I went over to his house where he was ready in his basement room with ropes, nipple clamps, a flog and some other toys. He told me to get naked, bound my ankles together and tied my knees so that I was forced into a kneeling position, leaving my arms free to start, but warning me that if I couldn’t stay still and take my punishment he would tie my arms back as well.

Connor started by calling me names. He called me a whore, a slut, an embarrassment, a worthless fuck toy, a rag for everyone to wipe their dick and pussy on. He walked around me in a circle while I knelt and I took the abuse because I knew I deserved it. He asked me if I like being such a cheap piece of meat and I started to cry and said no, I don’t. He slapped me in the face and called me a liar, told me that I love it. I sobbed and said it’s true, I love it. He flicked my nipple clamps and my hands reflexively shot up to my tits so he tied them back behind me. Then he made me tell me all of the things that I’ve done recently, starting with flashing the college boy next door up through my public lesbian gangbang and sucking off a guy I met at the bar. With every confession I made he slapped me between my shoulder blades with the flog and told me how disgusted he was with me. I fell over several times and he had to sit me back up. He grabbed, flicked, and twisted my nipple clamps to drive his point home and at one point even spit on me. I was sobbing but also very hot.

When I was done confessing he asked me if I deserve to feel pleasure. I said no I don’t. He asked me if I deserved to cum today. I told him that I didn’t. He told me that I was going to anyway, whether I liked it or not. He untied my legs, took off the nipple clamps, and pushed me face down on the bed, my hands still tied behind my back, and grabbed my sopping pussy. I hadn’t even realized how wet I was with all of the other emotions coursing through me, but there it was. He used a vibrator to make me cum even though I was still crying. Then he kept going and I was cumming again and again until I begged him to stop. He didn’t stop. I was so overstimulated that it started to hurt but I wasn’t going to use the safe word.

When the scene ended, he held me afterwards, debriefed, and made sure that I had gotten what I was looking for, which I had. But I’m really not sure where to go from here.

August 19^th, 2024

This past weekend I decided to seduce the woman who my partner cheated on me with for the past year. The lesbian scene in my city is pretty tiny so it wasn’t hard to find Becky’s (F32) phone number. It turned out Abby, the girl I’ve been casually seeing for the last few weeks, had it and was happy to go along with my plan. I texted Becky and said that I wanted to meet up and chat, that I wasn’t mad, no hard feelings, etc. which is half-true, I’m much angrier at Terry than at Becky.

I’ve seen Becky a few times at Terry’s work picnics and holiday parties. She’s significantly shorter than I am, maybe 5’ 2”, bright red hair, a soft round baby face, and incredible curves. Think a shorter Christina Hendricks with softer facial features. I tend to go for more masc-presenting women, but I’m also not blind when I see feminine hotness. The random sex I’ve been having over the last two months has mostly stopped being exciting for me, but I had butterflies when she agreed to meet me for drinks, mostly because she fucked my partner behind my back, but also because I wouldn’t mind touching her under her clothes.

The meeting on Friday went surprisingly well, too. I dressed as masc as I could in a strappy black jumpsuit, my hair pulled back in a tight ponytail, and clean white sneakers. We started by talking about relationships and cheating and fidelity and how complicated everything is, how sometimes things feel right and one can act impulsively, but we quickly moved on to just talking and the conversation flowed so effortlessly that I didn’t notice that we’d been there for four hours and had each had several drinks. I had made an effort the whole night to lean in close when talking and to touch her arm and hand whenever I could so when we finally decided to call it a night and she offered a hug it didn’t seem weird at all. It was a good hug. Her soft body felt warm and sweet up against my more toned frame. We stayed in the hug for what seemed like a long time. I tuned my head to face her ear and whispered that I wanted to kiss her. She nodded nodded said mmhm. It was a slow sweet kiss on the sidewalk outside the bar.

She texted me the next day to say that she wasn’t feeling great about what happened, that it was so awkward because she dated my spouse while we were still together, that she was drunk when we kissed, and so on. I told her I totally understand, it was weird for me too, but I kind of liked it and didn’t she say that sometimes it’s best to lean into what feels good? She agreed to a second meeting on Sunday. This time I didn’t mess around. I got to the restaurant where we had agreed to meet ten minutes late and found her looking at a menu at one of the patio tables. She was dressed in a tank top that showed off her enormous cleavage and I brushed the top of her tit with my hand as I leaned over her and said in her ear that I want to take her home right now and rip her clothes off.

We were back at her place in less than fifteen minutes and barely made it to her bedroom before our clothes were all the way off. I am not used to getting on top and it was a lot of work, but I was so exhilarated at fucking the woman who was at least partially to blame for my marriage failing that I had all the energy in the world to fuck her. I knew that I was doing what Terry had done where he had done it. So I held her down and grinded my pussy on her pubic bone. I licked and sucked her tits while I had her hands pinned down to her mattress. I licked and fingered her until she came and while she was cumming I knew I had my power back. I asked where she kept her strap-ons and if she wanted to pick one out. I might be mostly a bottom but I am in good shape and I fucked her for a good half an hour and would have kept going if she hadn’t tapped out. My hips are still sore a whole day later.

After, when we were cleaning up, I told her that this was nice, but I don’t think it’s a good idea to keep seeing each other, what with all the history between us. She didn’t disagree but asked me if I might change my mind some time. When I got home I blocked her number.

August 24^th, 2024

New neighbors moved in last week, three college aged boys, just like the last group that moved out. I’ve caught a glimpse of one or another of them here and there, but this morning when I went out to use the outside shower all three of them were sitting on their back deck passing around a bong. I’d guess they’re all between 19-22 years old, pretty average looking, one White and two who are more racially ambiguous. I walked up to the fence wearing my bathrobe, asked them their names, and introduced myself as Hope. They asked me if they were bothering me with the smoke and I said no, it was fine, and as a matter of fact, would they be willing to share? One of them brought the bong over to where I was standing and I took a (small) rip which immediately had me hacking. I never smoke anymore, just the occasional cbd edible, so hitting a bong for the first time in six or seven years was rough. I excused myself and said that I should probably just go shower before I hurt myself but it was nice to meet them all and that I’ll see them around. As I was walking towards the shower stall on my back deck I decided to give them a little tease. I dropped my bathrobe before walking in so they could all get a direct view of my ass, then I hung the robe up, looked behind me for a moment to make sure that they all saw me (they did), and slipped behind the shower curtain.

That was all that I was planning on doing, but the weed had me lightheaded and suddenly very horny. As soon as the water turned on I started rubbing and teasing my nipples, then my belly, the insides of my thighs, my hip creases, and finally my pussy. I leaned back against the wall of my house and let myself go wild, moaning as loud as I wanted while I stroked and fingered myself, for as long as it took to give myself a screaming orgasm, more than loud for the boys next door to hear. I spent another two minutes getting myself actually clean, then stepped out of the shower stall completely naked holding my shower caddy. All three of the boys were staring at me slack jawed as I put my bathrobe on and went inside without acknowledging them again.

I’m still a little high as I write this, if I’m being completely honest, and my head is racing with what I might do with the boys next door over the next year.